12 kisses
by paptschik
Summary: 12 chapters about 12 kisses....SpeedyCheshire, RobinStarfire, BBRaven
1. the first kiss

Chapter 1 – the first kiss 

Speedy was a lot like Robin. It was not just the way they fought, thought, looked and talked, it was more. It was, to a certain degree, their personality. Speedy, just like Robin, enjoyed some time alone every once in a while. And time alone for people like them meant being on the move at night, looking for some criminals to catch. A titan's definition of 'taking a walk'.

But it was during one of those nights, where Speedy faced that one major difference between him and Robin. He didn't have a cute alien girl in his team. He didn't have his own Starfire like Robin did. It was obvious that the two liked each other. And Speedy? There was only one girl among the Titans East and Bumblebee was just one of those girls he hadn't such an interest in. Not that it meant anything, as pretty much every girl on earth belonged to this category. With one exception.

"Cheshire." he said, looking at the back of the assassin. She suddenly appeared in front of him and, her being on the evil side, he simply had to follow her. At least, that's what he was telling himself. Once she realized he was behind her, she stopped, not turning around until the moment she heard his voice.

Now, looking at him, with her mask on, she spoke. "It's always nice to be reminded, that you didn't forget my name, Speedy."

"How could I ever forget it?" He smirked. Not the kind of smirk that made people feel unwelcome. More like a smirk that covered ones very own uncertainty. Until today Speedy had to deal with Cheshire quite often. For some reason he never arrested her or hurt her. They always fought, just like at some point they always seperated, long before the fight could come to an end.

Underneath her mask, Cheshire was smiling and she was very happy, that he couldn't see it. Just like him, she was hiding something, only that her face really showed her emotions. Emotions she kept hidden with her mask. All he could see was the typical grin.

"So..." he continued. "What are you doing tonight? Stealing? Killing? There are so many possibilities." In their very strange way of communicating with each other, this wasn't nearly as sarcastic as it may seem to be. A hero asking an assassin how her day was seemed very wrong, so Speedy said it the way he did and, just like many nights before, Cheshire understood that he this wasn't your ordinary hero-saying-whatever-semi-cool-line-they-could-think-of-talk.

"The usual." she answered, slightly tilting her head. "What about you?"

"The usual."

"I expected as much." She raised her claws. "Now, you want to fight, I presume."

"We're here already." he said, reaching for one of his arrows. "So we might as well fight."

Cheshire nodded. "As usual..."

XXX

Machines. To a certain degree, they stand far above all living beings. Especially humans. Humans can be slow or weak, they can disobey you or even betray you, they can forget, they can make mistakes, they might be the cause of a lot of trouble and in the end they will still fail. Humans are unstable. But machines are different. If ordered, they would go to hell and back in the name of those who send them, they are willing to face any consequence, including their own destruction, they never complain, never act against their programming, even their flaws and thus their failures are foreseeable. Where humans are variable, machines are constant. When it comes to humans, you are forced to adept to every new situation. With machines you can plan everything in advance. And in the end, a great plan and a great constant, might even make humans, and even more so heroes, very predictable.

Somewhere, within a factory nobody seemed to know anything about, Slade stood, watched his inhuman comrades grow in numbers, by hundreds every day. And he knew, this time everything would be just as planned. For too long he knew his enemies. And too well he knew the creations that would bring him victory. "The time has come, to face more challenging obstacles."

As he spoke, he turned around, looking at something else. Memorabilia of those that proved that this only slightly new way of handling things already was a success.

Pantha.

Bushido.

Herald.

Deceased.

XXX

Terra. Nobody knew how she returned. Or, more likely, was brought back to life. After that nobody knew if she was still herself or if she truly had forgotten everything. Then, when she came back, when she wanted to rejoin the Titans, nobody knew why she decided to do it. Nobody knew what changed her opinion or, if that was the case, what had brought back her memories. The thing is – nobody asked. They were all aware of the fact that it might as well be a trap, that it might be some Terra-look-alike that somehow, thanks to a strange plot-twist gained the original Terra's power. As stupid as it may sound, things like that happened all the time in the life of the Titans. But this time they didn't care. They just wanted to believe. Robin wanted to believe it, Cyborg wanted to believe it, Starfire wanted to believe it, even Raven wanted to believe it. And of course there was Beast Boy. And he truly believed. It was Terra. She was back. Nothing else mattered.

"Hey Terra, let's play games!" BB shouted from the sofa through the entire room. Terra responded. It sounded like she said she was coming, but you couldn't be sure, as her mouth was filled with strange stuff Starfire seemed to call food. Terra liked it just as much.

"Ready to get your ass kicked?" Terra smiled, as she sat down next to Beast Boy.

He too smiled. "Not today – I'm in the mood for kicking some ass myself!" he explained.

While they were playing, Starfire also walked over to them. "May I join you in the kicking of the ass?"

The changeling nodded. "Sure, winner fights Star!"

Raven was also in the room, but ignored the others, at least so it seemed. While she was indeed meditating, or trying to do so, she was at the same time listening. Starfire always seemed to be happy. A lot had to happen to actually make her sad, so she appeared to be the same as always. Beast Boy was different. Despite him always making fun off just about everything, he was different now. He was happier than Raven had seen him in a very long time. Maybe he was even happier than Raven had ever seen him be.

It was strange. At some point Raven started to focus on Beast Boys voice, without even intending to do so. It was like looking at some one, thinking about that person and in the end you just appear to be staring. Difference was that nobody noticed her doing it.

And suddenly she, along with the other Titans, heard the alarm. Robin entered the room together with Cyborg, looked at the others, with Terra being the last one, as he said the words they were all waiting to hear. "Titans, trouble!"

Only seconds later they were ready.

XXX

Robots. Dozens of them. Enough to do a lot of damage. Enough to scare civilians. Enough to get rid of ordinary guards.

Hardly enough to defeat the Teen Titans.

Again, like many times before, Slade's mechanic servants were about to steal something when the team showed up. Looking at the number of enemies, they all knew that they could do this.  
"He just won't give up." Robin said. It was time to prove how useless these efforts were. "Titans, GO!"  
As the boy-wonder spoke the magic words the six of them began to attack. Cyborg began with shooting them, but soon after moved on to close combat. Smacking them right in the face felt even better than blowing them up. Beast Boy turned into the biggest dinosaur he could think of. Being a creature of that size, all he had to do was move around to destroy many of his opponents. So easy, it was almost boring. Starfire continued with her usual flying around and shooting at everything that looks like an enemy routine. Terra did her raising rocks from the ground and crushing the enemy with them thing. Raven used her magic to tear them apart. Robin threw just about every gadget he had at them. It didn't take long until they were finished. Another day – another victory.

"BOOYA!" Cyborg shouted.

"I wonder why he's even trying anymore. Slade really has seen better days than this." When, as a villain, you reach a point where even Beast Boy successfully makes fun of you, you really should rethink your life.

Robin wasn't in the mood for jokes. "That's the question that haunts me." Everyone was looking at him. "This has been what? The fourth time? Fifth? Slade isn't stupid, he would learn from his mistakes as well as his losses. How come he's trying, again and again, the same way as before?"

"So, you think he's up to something?" Terra asked. Silly question, as it was obvious what Robin was thinking.

"Exactly."

XXX

Speedy was already breathing hard. Fighting Cheshire, while something he did on an almost regular basis, wasn't the easiest thing in the world. She got her good reputation for a reason.

"Already finished?" she asked. He couldn't tell if she truly wanted to know or if she was just mocking him.

"Nah. Hardly. It's not over yet." He said so, but he wasn't sure what else he should do. He didn't want to use his arrows against her and when it came to fighting without weapons she was just out of his league.

"Whatever you say, dear. But you look like you need a break."

"Maybe later." He ran towards her. For a long time he tried to avoid getting to close, knowing what she could do with those claws. But maybe, much like him, she would try to not do any real damage. Fortunately, he was right. As he suddenly came closer and attacked her, Cheshire began to only defend herself. For now she wasn't attacking – she couldn't. Threatening him was one thing, slicing him in half another. As soon as she got the chance she jumped away.

"Already finished?" he asked, grinning.

She shook her head. "No. I'm just about to begin." Now that there was some distance between them she could finally take of her claws – along with her mask. "That's better."

This time she was the one attacking, but Speedy was ready for her. The two of them were punching, defending, dodging and at some point, almost simultaneously tried to hit each other, yet both grabbed the opponents fist, just as it was about to reach their own face. Neither one was willing to let go, so they used this moment to look at each others faces. It was a very close look.

"Cheshire." Speedy said, all of a sudden.  
"Yes?" the no longer masked girl replied.

"You're beautiful." He truly meant what he said.

She smiled. "I know."

He chuckled. "Isn't this the moment where you should say something nice about my hair?"

She almost started to laugh. "What is it with you and your hair?"

Actually, a very good question. "I just like it the way it is."

"So it seems."  
"I guess...well?"

As they continued their little chat, everything else around them, even their own fight, didn't seem to matter any more. For now it was all about each others face and each others words.

"What if I offer you something better than a compliment?" A meaningful smile showed on her lips.

"Something better?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You would like it." As she spoke her face came closer to his.

"I would?" He tilted his head.

"I bet you do." She nodded.

"What is it?" He smiled.

"Don't you know?" She seemed disappointed.

"I guess I do." He grinned.

"So?" She grinned as well.

"I take it."

"Good."

And without further ado they closed the remaining distance between their lips. It wasn't her kissing him or him kissing her. They both moved their heads forward, just enough so their lips would touch. They both wanted this. Their first kiss. Again simultaneously they closed their eyes. Right now, not even words or faces mattered. Only this feeling did. This kiss.

And although she didn't say it – Cheshire liked his hair.


	2. a friendly kiss on the cheek

Chapter 2 – a friendly kiss on the cheek 

The thing about Teen Titans, not just the main five or the Titans East, but all of their honorary Titans as well, is that they never give up. They have hope and they have believes. They fight for what they believe. Unlike bad guys, they are in almost every case even willing to die, if it is for the greater good. Titans are much like machines. With one major difference – they can fail. Machines can be replaced, machines can be sent out in numbers high enough to take on entire armies. Titans and machines are both predictable. But with machines, it is almost easy to predict if they will fail or not. And if they do, just send in more. There is no such thing as hope. Only knowledge. It makes everything so much easier.

Slade was sitting on a chair. By now his robots should've all been destroyed. By now Robin should know he was planning something. By now it should bother him more than anything else could. It was amusing to see the puppets dance. They didn't know what was planned, but they were not willing to give up.

Even if, for now, they weren't the target.

"Predictable little Titans."

XXX

T-Tower, hours after the team successfully stopped Slade's robots.

Robin was sitting on a chair. By now he should've known what the robots wanted. By now he should've found out what Slade was planning. By now it didn't bother but infuriate him that he hadn't found out ANYTHING. But he was not willing to give up.

"Just what is it you want..."

He was sitting in front of computer, his eyes focused on the monitor. He hardly ever winked and he didn't even realize how his head already began to hurt. His right leg was shaking. Just a single finger of one of his hands was tapping on his left leg. It was late – very late. But he didn't care. He tried to focus, to stay awake and to ignore the annoying noises that, even though it was easily long past midnight, suddenly appeared.

"Robin!" a familiar voice almost shouted.

"What?!" he shouted in return. Seconds later he realized that Starfire was there, right next to him. And that she had probably been there for quite a while. "I'm sorry Star." he explained immediately. "I didn't mean to yell at you."

Starfire just stood there, looking at him. She knew he didn't mean to do it. But he did and it was hardly the only thing that made her think that he really needed to get some sleep. "Robin, I believe you should rest. It is not too long until the sun will rise again."

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I just-"  
"Robin." she interrupted him. "Please. Do not let this happen again. You do remember the last time. You do know it is not good. Neither for you, nor for your friends, nor for anyone else. Only our enemies will gain anything from you not getting enough sleep."

He stared at her. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. She looked so worried, so concerned, so sad and maybe even afraid. He wanted to continue, he really wanted to. But looking at her eyes, he just couldn't. Her face reminded him of how right she was. This couldn't happen again. He would not let it happen. Slade would not do the same thing to him twice. Especially not with Starfire being worried about him. "You're right. I guess I better get some sleep."

A bright smiled appeared on her face. "I hoped you would understand."

"But why are you still awake?"

"I was waiting for you to go to sleep. I was afraid that you would...become like you were before. Obsessed." Anyone else would probably have said something about either getting some food or going to the toilet. Starfire was a very honest person, so she confronted Robin with the unpleasant truth.

Robin did the one thing he felt he had to do. He stood up, walked over to Starfire and hugged her. She was surprised at first, but then immediately put her arms around him as well. "I'm sorry." Robin began to speak. "I'm sorry you have to worry about me so much. But I promise, I will never, never ever become like that again. I will never let him take over my life again. I mean, how could I...if my life is already in the hands of someone else." He let go of her. So did she. "It's my friends who matter. Not Slade. It's Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven...and you."

No kind of red could describe how much Starfire was blushing at this moment. An awkward silence was followed by her giggling uncontrolled, her face still red. But she didn't say anything.

"So. I guess I'll be going to my room." He turned off the computer and was about to head for his room, but he looked at her one last time. "Good night, Star." he said.

"Good night." she replied.

XXX

Sometimes Aqualad thought about learning Spanish, just in case. That is until he asks himself one question – won't the two of them be even more...distracting...if he actually understood them? He didn't know the answer, but it was a good enough reason to never learn Spanish.

"Now, slowly, what is it you want?" It was the third time he had Mas and Menos explain what they wanted to say. What exactly it was he still didn't get. All he understood, with the little Spanish he knew, was that it was about Speedy and something seemed like something else or something like that.

"Speedy is gone, that's what this is all about. I checked his room." Bumblebee explained as she entered the room.

"I see." Finally Aqualad got it. "You think we should be worried?"

Bumblebee shook her head. "He can take care of himself. I would just like to know where he is."

At that very moment the door opened and Speedy entered. "Hello."

"Forget everything I just said." Bumblebee said. "Now, where on earth are you coming from?"

"I've been busy."

"The whole night?" Aqualad asked.

"Yes, the whole night."

"What were you doing?" Bumblebee wanted to know.

"Fighting crime, you know, that thing we all got going."  
"Let me repeat myself." Aqualad said. "The whole night? If it was that difficult you could've called us."

Speedy looked at Aqualad. "Maybe I just didn't want to. Now if you all excuse me, I'm tired, I'll get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay, never mind."

"We'll wake you up if there's trouble, 'kay?" Bumblebee added.

"Fine." Finally Speedy moved on to his room. He heard Mas or Menos or maybe both say something in the meantime, but he wasn't willing to even try to understand them. He was just tired.

XXX

Beast Boy liked food. A lot. Being a vegetarian doesn't mean he can't enjoy cooking or eating. So preparing breakfast for his friends is a great way of doing something nice! The only problem is, they kinda don't like just about everything he likes.

Which, sadly, meant that once he offered them breakfast, they all explained that they would rather eat something else. Except Terra.

"I would love to try it." Terra could eat and like everything as long as some world in this universe considered it food.

Silently, Raven watched as the green changeling served the blond girl her breakfast. Terra looked at it and seconds later everything was gone. She could eat really fast. Beast Boy looked at her and waited – and so did Raven. Several very tense seconds passed before Terra finally reacted. "That was delicious. Can I get more?"

By now, Beast Boy's smile had become so bright, it seemed as if any second now he would either begin to cry or kiss Terra. Fortunately for the viewing audience – in others words, Raven – he did neither one. "Sure, there's enough for five people and it's all yours!" Happily he gave her more.

"It's so nice of you to make breakfast for us...me...you know."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." Then it happened. Terra got closer to Beast Boy and kissed him. It wasn't a real kiss, it was just a kiss on the cheek, nothing unusual, especially not among friends. The boy was obviously blushing. It seemed to be even more obvious on his green skin.

The moment she kissed him, Raven looked the other way. Seconds later she finally left, going to her room. Some part of her just didn't feel comfortable about being in the same room as these two. At least, not at that moment.

Raven was sitting on her bed, thinking about it. Thinking about everything she just witnessed. Thinking about why it bothered her. She was by no means jealous, that couldn't be the reason. But what was?

Was it because she was curious? Being kissed and kissing someone else. No. Although she really was curious about it, it wouldn't make sense if that would be the reason. Why should she mind it if one of her friends kissed another one, only on the cheek that is? Something else was the reason.

Something was missing in her life. The longer she thought about it, the more she understood that little fact. But what exactly was it? And how could it be related to this situation? Was it because it was Beast Boy who was kissed? No – again, she was not jealous. It was something different...although maybe similar. Was it because of how close Terra and Beast Boy were, even if you thought about them as just friends – which they didn't seem to be, at least not the way Raven saw it...no, it couldn't be. She didn't want to be this close to him. Or anyone else. And besides that, in their own, very weird way, Raven and Beast Boy were almost as good friends, heck, Beast Boy would even waste a lot of his time to tell her jokes she wouldn't find funny.

Then it hit her. She realized what it was. What was missing. What had changed. It was the attention she no longer received. With Terra back, Beast Boy spent most of his time with her, as well as he would tell her most of his bad jokes – and she would like them. You could say, she finally got what she always wanted, in the end, he didn't annoy her any more. But deep within her heart, she wanted to be annoyed. All the time he spent with her, all the terrible jokes, all those times where he tried really heart and in the end still failed to amuse her, yet would try again only seconds later. The fact that he would do it again and again, not just without her enjoying it, but with her actually telling him to stop it, over and over again. But he continued. Raven was glad, that Robin, Starfire and Cyborg always respected her privacy. But, in a way, it was Beast Boy's tenacious behavior that truly made her feel like somebody cared about her. And now it was gone. This special something she and the green one had, it simply was no longer.

And in the end, Raven still wasn't jealous. But she was sad.

And in a T-shaped tower filled with friends, she still felt lonely.


	3. a short kiss

Chapter 3 – a short kiss 

Days passed. One after another. Every day, more machines were born. Once thought of as only pawns, Slade came to realize, that even pawns can make quite a difference. There was no longer the need for complex plans, worthless apprentices and outside help. It was just him and his toys. Machines would be created. Machines would create themselves. It was a beautiful sight to watch his army get bigger. Almost as beautiful as seeing the number of opponents taken out of the picture. More and more Titans would fall. And as most Titans weren't on any of the two teams, it would make things even easier. No one would even realize that they were gone. Not until it would already be too late. Sure, there was this silly communicator problem, but that was just another issue machines were able to take care of. As if there was anything they couldn't do. Simplicity is a real beauty. The first row, generic robots, hundreds of them. Quite a big number, but nothing that some of the stronger Titans wouldn't be able to stop. But once the enemy was weakened after fighting of nothing but worthless pawns, it was time for the real threat to appear. Robots – this time, so strong, that they even might be a threat to a Titan. To a Titan with all his powers, in a one on one match. Dozens of these, in a battle against a weakened Titan...it wouldn't be a fight. It would be slaughter. And soon, there would only be two teams left, to be taken care of. Until then, Slade would have found more than enough ways to separate them and annihilate them, one at a time.

"This new line of robots was probably the best thing I ever came up with." Smiling beneath his mask, he walked through his very own factory. A villain of his magnitude, he not only possessed the mind or the body, but also the resources to prove, he was the greatest evil the Titans would ever face. And probably the last. "It seems...almost too easy. Almost boring." Quiet laughter could be heard. "Almost."

XXX

Starfire really knew how to take care of her friends. Especially if Robin was the friend in question. The best thing she could do to keep him from, once again, turning into the obsessed young man he was before, was spending time with him. He said he wouldn't let it happen, and she trusted him, but, you know, just in case.

And while she loved the time they spent with each other and although she cherished every single moment they shared, just the two of them, she was also glad that the others also helped to distract Robin. Even, if they weren't aware of what they were doing.

Like, when Beast Boy and Cyborg play videogames with him.

Like, when Raven...well, okay, Raven probably wasn't much of a help these days. For reasons Starfire didn't know and, according to Raven, wouldn't understand, Raven seemed somewhat moody and, even more so, saddened. Seeing her like this not only irritated the alien girl, but caused her to worry not just about Robin, but about Raven as well.

The problem was, helping Raven seemed to be much more complicated than taking care of Robin. What should she do? What could she do?

Unfortunately, things seemed to become even worse, the moment the Titans East contacted the main group.

Robin gathered the entire team, shortly after Bumblebee's face appeared on the huge screen in front of him.

"So, everybody there?" Bumblebee asked after a while.

"Yeah. So, what do you want?" Robin got straight to the point.  
"Well, we kinda got two problems here." For a moment she remained silent. Obviously, she was unsure how to put it. "First...it's about Speedy. He's been acting very strange lately."

"So does Beast Boy, all the time, no need to call for help." Raven explained. A part of her wanted to see the changeling's reaction to this remark. Another part of her was almost afraid of what the reaction would be. Fear won – she didn't even dare to look at him.

"Not that kind of strange. He's out all night, fighting villains on his own, at least as far as we know, he never talks about it, heck, he hardly talks about anything at all these days. It's like he has forgotten that he is part of a team. And sometimes he is almost...aggressive. Sometimes I feel like he hates us for caring about him, now that's not the Speedy I know."

"Personally, I know exactly how he feels..." For once, Raven wasn't the only one that was not at all fond of any kind of company.

"Honestly, right now, I don't care how he feels, I just want to know what he thinks. Raven, I want you to have a look at him. I'm afraid that something might be...just very wrong." Bumblebee appeared to be really concerned about her teammate.

Raven stared at Bumblebee or, in fact, at the screen in front of her. For a moment she remained silent, thinking about what was just said, before she replied. "You want me to enter his mind?"

"It wouldn't be the first time you did this, right?"

"No, it wouldn't. That doesn't mean I go around and do it to every now and then, just for fun. This is a very serious matter. In case of Robin, it HAD to be done. I doubt that this situation bears any similarity at all to what happened to Robin back then."

"I am fully aware of that." she explained. "But as far as I'm concerned this IS serious. Maybe not as bad as it was in Robin's case, but bad enough for me. He is obsessed and I want to know with what. He is trying to seclude himself from us and I want to know why. Someone or something must have influenced him one way or another and I want to know who or what!"

"You don't even know what you are talking about. This is dangerous, this is personal, this is HIS life, ever thought he wants to live it for his own sake and not in the name of others?" While speaking, Raven slowly raised her voice.

"So that's why he is wearing his mask, doing the whole superhero, risking his life for the people thing?" Bumblebee didn't bother to just raise her voice. She straight out shouted at the other girl.

"This is preposterous. This entire discussion is pointless. I will not do anything like that."

"Why don't you all shut up for once?!" a voice shouted. Strangely enough, it was Beast Boy's voice. Him telling other people to shut up, oh the irony, what a chance for Raven to make a sarcastic remark. But she remained silent, looking at the green boy, astounded.  
First, Beast Boy looked at Bumblebee. "Face the facts Bumblebee: You're talking about entering someone's mind, that's like what? Brain-rape? You have to understand how Raven feels about this." Then he looked at Raven. "On the other hand, this IS very strange. Yeah, I know, Robin was a lot more extreme, but don't forget, Robin is obsessed and weird all the time, you can't compare...well, okay, so they are practically clones of each other, but Speedy is at least somewhat different. Usually. Different enough, so you should at least think about it...I'm not saying do it, but it's something you should think about."

Silence.

Until Raven spoke.

"Fine. I will think about it. But I may still refuse to actually do it."

"Fair enough." Bumblebee answered. "I guess there will be more than enough time to think about it, once all of you are here."

"What do you mean 'here'?" Robin asked.

"Well, I guess you'll all be coming to Steel City. You remember, I said we have two problems, now we're talking about number 2. We need your help, all of your help and I can't even say if that would be enough." Bumblebee explained in a serious tone.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "How serious could it possibly be that you need the entire team? Besides, we've got our own troubles with Slade at the moment."

Bumblebee tried to laugh. It didn't really work, but she showed a smirk nonetheless. "Funny story, you know, that Slade of yours just happens to be our very own problem number two. You might wanna come over and pick him up, drive him home? You know, it's long past bedtime for little Sladie."

Robin couldn't believe what he just heard. "Slade is in Steel City?"

"Well I'll be damned, you understood what I just said." Bumblebee seemed to look at Robin, although she was just staring at a screen somewhere in another tower in another city. "Yes, he is." Again she became more serious. "And we really need your help. I'm not sure we can handle this. Not alone. And not with Speedy being the way he is. We need your help."

Silence. For a moment at least. Robin looked at the others and even before he did, they knew what he would say. It was obvious. It was just the same they would have said themselves. As he turned back to Bumblebee's image on the screen he spoke. "We're on our way."

XXX

Raven was in her room, sitting on her bed, thinking. The others were still getting ready, something she didn't have to do. There was just about nothing she would want – or need – to take with her. Not just because she honestly hoped that they wouldn't stay in Steel City for too long. Furthermore, she wasn't in the mood to pack her stuff. She wanted to think. She needed to think. She should be thinking about Speedy and whether or not she would help. But all she did was asking herself if she had overreacted. And the reason why she asked herself this question, was standing just in front of her room. Knocking.

"Raven?" the voice of a green changeling could be heard through the door. "Can I come in?"

The girl had to think about it for a moment, before answering. "No." She wasn't sure why, given that he had been in her room before, but she didn't want him to come in. Her room was a part of her and just like everything else about her, it should be secret. Even if every now and then her friends hat the chance to take a look inside.

"Well...would you come out?"

This she could do. A few seconds past before the door in front of Beast Boy was opened and Raven came out of her room. "What do you want?"

"I just..." He hesitated. She looked bored, uninterested and suddenly he felt like he was wasting her time. Of course this wasn't the case, but Raven did all she could to make it look like that. It's what she always did. Hide the truth behind a sarcastic and annoyed mask. "I interrupted you, didn't I?" the green boy asked. "If so I'm sorry, I just...maybe you've got some time later-"

"Beast Boy." She interrupted him. "I have all the time in the world. Just say what you have to say."

He nodded. "Okay. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For yelling at you. I know I shouldn't have and I wanted to apologize...and...yeah, that's all I had to say."

Raven was surprised, she almost smiled. "You don't have to apologize. You were right. I shouldn't have been so aggressive. I should know as well as anybody else that Bumblebee wouldn't ask me to do something like this without thinking about it. And I should do the same. Think about it."

"Oh, okay." Beast Boy said. "So, I guess I better...leave you alone?"

Raven sighed. For once, she didn't want to be left alone. She was actually missing these moments with Beast Boy. She was missing the attention. But there was no way she could have said it. She lacked the courage to do so. So she could only nod. That's what was expected from Raven. Wanting to be alone. As Beast Boy left she asked herself a different question. Had she already reached the point, where she wouldn't expect herself to desire anything else besides loneliness?

Was it really what she wanted?

XXX

Robin, just like Raven, used his time to think, although about something different and not in his room. He was stand on the roof of the tower. What bothered him? Of course it was Slade. But, just like it had happened previously, Starfire appeared. She knew her place was by his side, ready to catch him whenever he was about to fall into the hole that Slade obviously had dug. "You are thinking about him, am I correct?"

He didn't look at her. He continued to just stare into the distance. "About whom?" he asked. Of course he already knew the answer.

"Slade." Starfire said as she came closer. "And I believe I do know why."

"And why would that be?"

By now the alien girl was standing right behind Robin. "It is because he abandoned you. He left you alone. He went to Steel City. He fought there. And he fought a different fight. He no longer fights against you and you alone. He no longer treats you like his only nemesis. You are but a mere titan now, like all of us. And I think this is what bothers you. You feel like he has betrayed you."

"He's a villain Starfire, it's what they do. Why would I ever expect anything else? Why would I even care? It's the best for the entire city if he's gone, now and forever." The boy wonder explained.

"I do not know why you would care. But I do know that you do care. Am I not correct?" She put one of her hands on his shoulder.

He didn't answer. The silence spoke for itself.

"Fighting Slade was and is important to you. Too important. Sometimes it appears that you believe that it is the only thing that gives your life a purpose. It frightens me, but it still seems to be that way. It was one thing for him to find another apprentice. It seems to be another thing for him, to find another enemy. You seem to be...jealous."

"Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"I am afraid that you are right." As he spoke he turned around to look into her eyes.

She did the same. "I do not know how I could help you. All I can tell you is...Slade does not matter. Not in such a way. He is only one man. An evil man we fight. All of us, as a team. We did it in the past. We will do it in the future. Your feelings should not revolve around Slade so much. You have other people. People to whom you are very important." With every word she spoke she became quieter. "People that would never make you jealous...because you, Robin, are the most important person in their lives. The one person that gives their life a purpose, more than anyone or anything else."

Hesitantly she came even closer. She could already feel his breath. He could already feel her breath. At some point she stopped. It was up to him now. What would he do? What would his answer be? For a while nothing happened. But she didn't care. He had time. She wouldn't move back.

Finally, after what seemed to be hours he reacted. He didn't say anything. But he covered the remaining distance between him and her. Between their bodies. Their faces. Their lips. For a short moment he hugged and pressed his lips against hers. It didn't last too long. But it didn't have to. It was a beautiful short kiss. And it couldn't have been any better.

And as it came to an end, Slade was long forgotten.


	4. the forbidden kiss

**Chapter 4 – the forbidden kiss**

It is always an amazing thing to witness the astonishing powers of heroes like the Titans, be it the original team or the Titans East. Take Aqualad for example. Even Bumblebee, leader of the Titans East, wasn't sure if she knew every single ability he had. She was aware of the whole breathing under water stuff, the telepathy and that controlling water or whatever thing. But it wasn't until just now that she realized, he was also gifted with the power of super-snoring. So there he was, lying on the couch and causing her ears to bleed.

"Hey, Fishstickboy, wake up!"

No reaction.

"I'm talking to you!" This time she was noticeably louder than before. "Move your butt or I will and you wouldn't want that to happen!"

Well, it seemed he did, because once more, there was no reaction. "Fine, as you wish." Bumblebee was already preparing the most painful way of waking someone up she could think of at the moment, but she stopped as she heard and seconds later saw someone coming in. Speedy. "If it isn't the fallen son! When did you come back?"

The archer raised an eyebrow. "Fallen son? Is that my new nickname?"  
"You better be happy, anything else I thought of you would've hated even more." she explained.

"I see. So, what's wrong with you? In a bad mood? I thought we just got past those days."

People often talk about lines and how they shouldn't be crossed. Given all that talk, one would expect people, including a young Titan like Speedy, to know when to shut up. "Okay boy, don't try to piss me off, Aqualad's been at it for a while now and he's doing fairly well, I doubt you want to proof your 'better' than that, right?"

He looked at her. Okay, he said more than he should have said. There was no need to treat her like that. Sure, everything was complicated at the moment, to say the least. But why was he even angry? Because he had to hide it? Because he was forced to run away every night just so he could be with the one girl he wanted to be with? Whatever the reason was, he wasn't in the mood to think about.

"I'll be in my room."

"No you won't be, not now."

He was about to leave, but stopped immediately. "What is it this time?"

"You might want to be present once Robin and company arrive, wouldn't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Bumblebee sighed. He didn't know anything. He really wasn't much of a part of the team these days. "The Titans are coming to Steel City, helping us fight against Slade?"

Sppedy raised an eyebrow. "What? This is the first time I ever heard about that."

"Well, duh! You would have heard about it, if you would've talked to us in the last what? Two weeks? And saying that you'll be in your room does not count a talking to us."

"Are you telling me what to do, Bumblebee?"

"You bet your ass I do, that's why I am the leader, I tell the other Titans what to do, makes an awful lotta sense, doesn't it?" She was losing her temper again. It happened to often nowadays. Even worse, that it was justified most of the time.

Fine. She wanted to shout, so why wouldn't he? "That's fine, but guess what, I have a life outside of all this!"

"Since when? You yourself said, whenever you're not here with us, you're out there, doing our job, alone, for whatever reason possible. Or did you lie to us? Is that it?"

He looked at her. And turned around. "If it's so important, call me when they arrive. If not...leave me alone. I'll be in my room." And thus he left.

XXX

The T-Car had room for up to five people, the obvious problem being that the Titans are now a group of six. But alas, there are solutions for everything. In this case, it was as easy as Beast Boy turning into a creature a little more compact. Like a small cat for example.

A small cat that just happened to sit on Terra's lap.

"He should always look like that." Starfire explained, while petting the green animal. "He is a cute cat."

Terra laughed. "He's cute in general." She, too, was stroking him. "Aren't you? Be it as a cat, a dog, a bird...or a boy."

As a response the cat smiled, if that is even possible, and meowed. Terra couldn't stop herself from hugging him, just for being so adorable. It looked as if nothing in the world could take him from her. Except Starfire, who wanted to do pretty much the same. "I wish to hold him as well."

Robin, sitting in the back along with the two girls and the green cat, raised an eyebrow. "Somehow I'm beginning to believe, that I've got the wrong abilities..." Now if only he could also turn into cute little fuzzy creatures.

"And somehow I am beginning to think, that I'm about to throw up." Raven said. Even if she was sitting in front along with Cyborg and therefore didn't have to look at them, she could still hear them. And it was annoying.

"Come on. You wouldn't talk like that if you actually looked at him. Or pet him. Or let him sit on your lap. Or-"

"Before you continue, please know one thing." Raven interrupted her. "There is no way, no chance that ever, under any given circumstances, I would pet Beast Boy. And I won't even mention just how impossible it is for him to sit on my lap, because in any of his forms, he has no business touching my lap. Am I clear?"

"Very much so, I guess." Couldn't have been much clearer.

"Good. Because I wouldn't want to repeat myself."

XXX

A flying creature made of metal. Very small, barely the size of an eyeball, and very silent. Actually, it made no noise at all. A useful tool and an effective spy, which is pretty much the reason why Slade, from the moment, when he got his hands on this technology, on, used it to spy on the Titans. Both east and west. As well as many others. Therefore it shouldn't come by surprise that he is already aware of the soon to be expected arrival of the five original Titans in Steel City. Sooner than he would've wanted them to show up and thus not quite as planned, but minor differences from what was originally intended shouldn't be much of a shocking development. These things happen. And it ain't a problem either. Because, thanks to another anomaly, not just the Titans, but he as well, was ahead of the schedule.

So he had no need to worry about ten titans instead of five, as he was going for one at a time anyway. He only needed to separate them. Though, in this case, even that wasn't necessary. Because as the visuals, projected in front of him by his favorite flying gimmick, proved, a little something called love had already done that.

And as he watched the images of Speedy sneaking out of the tower in order to meet with his secret love, Slade wondered, if he knew that he wasn't long for this world. Seconds later he realized – he didn't care.

XXX

The distance between the two cities with their two Titans teams is something very fascinating. It seems to change all the time, depending on the situation. Sometimes, when it is a life or death situations, it won't take very long. Yet sometimes, when the Titans have all the time in the world, it takes them even longer than that. So, several miles and a lot of stops for way too many different reasons later the Teen Titans finally arrived in Steel City.

"Well it's about time." Bumblebee said as she walked towards the T-Car which had just stopped. "I was expecting you sooner."

"So were we and we would have arrived sooner if it weren't for some weak bladders and the need to stop every five to ten minutes."

Bumblebee nodded and immediately looked at Beast Boy, if only for a moment.

It was long enough for him to notice it.

"Why is everyone always looking at me, when someone says something embarrassing?"

"You're just the first one everybody thinks about." the Titans East leader explained.

"That doesn't make it better. Not at all."

Not she tried to make him feel better. She was just being honest. "Anyway, the others are waiting inside, so come on and move it."

There were one and them some grumpy sounds, coming from more than one Titans at once, as they did as asked and entered the Titans East Tower.

"Okay guys, move your butts down here!" Bumblebee shouted. Pretty loud, that is. In fact, it was a given that everyone in the entire tower heard her.

"Charming." Raven remarked.

Aqualad was the first to show up. "There's no need to scream like that. Why are you always shouting?"

"I'm the leader. Leaders shout. Besides, you do prefer the verbal kick in the rear to me coming looking for you and dragging you here by your ear, do you, Bladder Boy?"

"It's Aqualad and-" He looked at her. Bumblebee had her arms crossed, her head tilted and an eyebrow raised. "Let's just forget about that."

"Well said. Now, where are our turbo twins?"

"You mean Mas and Menos? Over there." Aqualad looked at the group and ponted at something. Following his finger, everyone looked at, a for that moment slightly confused, Starfire. Finally looking down, they noticed the two boys hanging on to her legs, one on each side. "Mi amor."

"Good, that makes four of us. Where's Speedy? Still playing hide without anyone seeking?"

"I'll go check his room." Aqualad explained and left.

In the meantime the other Titans were just standing there, looking at and listening to everything going on around them.

"Nice team dynamics." Raven suddenly said.

"Hey. As long as it's working. They listen, don't question me all the time and at least we're not killing each other."

"What a feat." Raven didn't even bother to sound sarcastic. It wasn't even necessary at this point.

"Hey, you got a problem with how I handle things here, then s-"

"Bumblebee!" Aqualad yelled from the distance as he came running back after a while. "He's gone."

She stared at her teammate. This couldn't be true. "He's what? Come on, tell me your joking." It was obvious that he wasn't joking. "When? Why? How?"

"I have no idea...but when I entered his room it was empty. I looked around for a short while, but nothing. The tower is big, but not this big. He's just not here. He must've left at some point. When? Who knows..."

Furiously the leader of the Titans East stomped her feet to the ground. In her anger she was far beyond shouting, not at anyone in particular, more because there were certain things that had to be shouted. "That's it! Next time I see him, I am going to kill him!"

"So much for that..." Raven noted.

XXX

Speedy waited atop the roof of a building, high enough so no one would see him up there. He sneaked out of the tower and got here early. For a long time Cheshire was nowhere to be found. It gave him time to think. About a lot of things.

Then she finally arrived. "You're late." he said.

"No. I'm not." she responded. "You're early. May I ask why?"

Sure, why not. There was nothing he had to hide from her. That's what made it special. "I had to get out. I just had to leave. Get some fresh air. Waiting here, I got enough of that. It cleared my mind. Allowed me to think about many things."  
She moved her hand, showing that she wanted him to continue.

"They are my friends. All of them. But this pressure...I mean, they act like I'm a criminal. They want to know everything, all the time, they won't just let me live my own life for once. It's like I've done something bad and everyone knows it."

"Well, you have done something bad, at least by their definition."

"I have?"

"On several occasions." Cheshire explained. "Every time you meet me and don't arrest me. Every time we fight, but in the end you just let me go. Every time we're close to each other. You could say...we...us...our relationship...is based on you betraying your friends."

"That's not true!" he yelled. Not because he was angry. But because he was sure he did the right thing. "Things aren't always black and white. I don't betray them, just because I for once do what's right FOR ME. I have these feelings for you and I can't betray myself. Sometimes you just have to cross a line, they do it all the time. Heck, look at Kid Flash, his girl almost killed the Titans, several times, you only did that once! And did they EVER lock her up in the end? No, she was a good girl now, so everything is forgiven and forgotten."

"But this is different. I am not a good girl. You know that, don't you?" She slowly came closer, just close enough to get a good look right into his eyes.  
"Do I know it? I probably even like it. But that's not the point." He avoided her looks.

"Then what is? Tell me."

"It's that...even if I can't tell the others. Even if all this is a secret. Even if it is actually forbidden...it is as right as it gets."

Cheshire smiled. Even an assassin is glad hearing words like these. And she answered the only way she could think of. By pulling his head to herself and kissing him. A long, enjoyable and pleasantly forbidden kiss.


	5. an accidental kiss

**Chapter 5 – an accidental kiss**

It was late. Very late. In fact, it was so late, you could actually say it was early next morning. Everyone in the tower of the Titans East was sleeping. Except one person. Robin.

The young boy wonder wasn't awake all night. It was just that, at some point, he didn't feel like sleeping anymore. Maybe it was just the way he was. Always had been. Even if he couldn't walk over to a computer of his or have a look at some evidence, like he would probably do in his tower, he still didn't want to sleep. Not now.

If she knew it, Starfire would probably hurt him. Just a little bit.

But he had enough sleep. For now. He would go back to bed at some point and get some more, but overall, it was more than enough. More than it used to be, just a few days ago.

He gets all the rest he needs, just as he promised Starfire.

Standing at a window, he looked at Steel City. The view was not even close to beauty of his home. But then he noticed something he wouldn't have seen in Jump City. Something moving on the ground. A dark figure, sneaking through the night. Oh, all the memories this sight caused in Robin's head.

Being the detective he was taught to be he, of course, knew very well who it was. Then again, even Beast Boy would have realized it. Wanting to greet him he stepped away from the window, moving towards a door and waiting, for just a while, until it opened.

"Hello Speedy."

The archer was by no means surprised. He was no Robin, but he wasn't stupid either. He was told the Titans, the original Titans, would come to Steel City, of course they would stay in the tower and about Robin...lets just say Speedy knew him good enough to expect a meeting like that.

"Hey Robin."

"So, you've been out?"

Speedy just looked at him. Genius detective at work.

"Gee, Rob, I thought no one would notice, but then again, you are a detective, eh?"

A moment of silence followed, until Robin reacted. "Stupid question, point taken."

"Good for you. 'Sides, any reason why you're still up this late?"

"Any reason why you are?"

"I asked first."

Robin sighed. "Well, fine. I just woke up. It happens, then I waste some time, maybe an hour or two, until I go back to sleep."

Pretty much what Speedy expected. "I can imagine how you feel. Not that it ever happened to me."

"And people try to tell me we're so much alike." Robin said, rolling his eyes.

"Tell me about it. But you don't even know how terrible this can be. They always compare us, I'm not even the leader of my Titans team, what does this make me? A failed attempt at a Robin?" In moments like these Speedy was glad nobody knew about the Arrowcave. Or the Arrowcar. Or the Arrowplane.

"Now that sounds a little harsh, don't you think? And let them say what they want. I mean, they even think we look like each other." Robin almost laughed at that thought. Nothing against Speedy, but in Robin's opinion the archer lacked a lot of style.  
"That's what I do these days. It's my new way of handling things. And your team also says that? I can't believe it. I mean, we're nothing alike. Just look at your hair!"

Now he didn't feel like laughing at all. This was serious business and Speedy just made a big crack in the thin ice he's walking on. "You got a problem with my hair?"

Speedy shook his head, a smirk on his face. "No, not at all, it's just not my style. And it smells a lot like hair gel. Cheap one."

"It's not that cheap! And I'm not made out of money, so what should I do?"  
"I don't know. What I do know is though..." He placed one hand on top of his head. "My hair always gets the best possible treatment, no matter the cost."

"But you don't use hair gel!"

"If you're hair looked as good as mine, you wouldn't need it either."

Slowly this was turning into one hairsplitting discussion.

"My hair is perfect the way it is."

"Whatever you say."

Robin raised his hand, one finger pointing at Speedy, and was about to say something, as the archer started giggling.

"This is not funny." Robin said.  
"Oh, it is." Speedy replied.

"Well. Yeah. Maybe just a little." Robin couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Though he stopped soon, as he didn't want to wake anyone up. "Never mind. So...back to topic. You still haven't told me YOUR reason to be up this late. To coming home this late."

Speedy sighed. "I just...I needed some fresh air back then. And you know how it is, you're out, you see a criminal and another and another and before you know a few hours have passed." It was the best excuse he could come up with at the moment. Of course he wouldn't tell him the truth. He couldn't. He had his Starfire, so there was know way he could relate to anything going on in Speedys life at the moment.

"That's it?" Robin asked, obviously not believing what he just heard.

"That's it." Was the short answer he got.

And, of course, Robin didn't believe a single word he said. Judging from what he was told, Speedy seemed to suspiciously often need some fresh air. But the boy wonder didn't ask further question. Maybe because he was getting tired again. Maybe because he knew it wouldn't make a difference and he couldn't force Speedy to tell anything. Maybe out of respect for his privacy. "Hm...alright. But you know everyone's worrying about you."

"I can take care of myself. You know that. And if I can't handle the trouble, I can still call my team, or yours or anyone else. So there's no need to worry about anything." It's nice to know people care. But at some point it becomes annoying, almost unbearable.

"That doesn't make it better." Robin explained. "Look, everyone knows you can take care of yourself and you'll call for help if you need, but your friends still worry about you. That's the way it is, people worry all the time, even if there's no need to. Wouldn't you feel just the same way?"

Oh god. It was one of those moments again. Speedy hated them, with all his hearts. It wasn't just that he had to admit someone else was right. It was one of those damn 'Robin is right' moments. Just once, only one single time he wanted to deliver a speech of epic proportions ending with a grand finale of shoving it into Robin's face that HE and not the Batboy was right. Yeah, as if that would ever happen. "Yeah. You're right, fine. I get it, I screwed up. We're done yet?" He just wanted to leave, go to his room and get some sleep. And forget Robin. Right now, there was no place whatsoever in his mind for him or any other person. He just wanted to think of HER.

"... Sure. I guess I could need some more sleep as well." He agreed. "So, goodnight?"  
"Yeah...goodnight."

"And just vanish first thing in the morning, okay? He others would like to see you was well. You do remember, we're friends and all that."

Speedy glared at him. Sometimes it would be smart to finish one sentence earlier. "Yeah, I do remember, would you believe that?" He turned away. "Don't worry, I won't be gone all of a sudden." Not in the morning, that is. No promises would be made about the rest of the day. Or any other day.

Robin wanted to say something, but before he was given the chance Speedy walked away, towards his room. Robin was left alone. He thought about the whole situation for a moment, before he too left for his room, to get some more sleep. He really needed it right now.

XXX

A giant empty warehouse. In a way it was an amazing sight. All this...nothing. This emptiness. One could assume that the reason why Slade chose this place as the place where his next victim would die, would be symbolic in nature. Along the lines of...this emptiness should show him what he was – alone. With no one else to help. No one to care. And he would have brought it all onto himself. But alas, the reason was a lot less poetic and far more practical. All this emptiness was meant to be filled. The had to be enough room for all his little toys. And even more room, for the bigger ones. Soon everything would be prepared. All that was left then, was for the poor young boy to die a slow, painful, maybe even cruel death. But, surprisingly that much honor and respect was still left within the pitiful thing Slade called his heart, it would also be a dignified death. A death worthy of a Titan. After all, he wouldn't want his archenemies to die an ordinary death. Then again, if such a thing as an ordinary death of a Titan were even possible, he wouldn't have had to assemble all the resources that will finally bring him what he wanted for so long. What his soul longed for all this time. Gratification. Fulfillment. Satisfaction. And, in a weird way only he would be able to understand, justice. The death of the Teen Titans. Quite and event to look forward to.

Slade walked through the one gigantic hall of the warehouse. Looking at everything. Every corner. Every lamp. Every little detail. Memorizing it. And thinking of way to utilize it. When it was going happen, this fight between the – dare one say: former – member of the Titans East and his machine army, everything had to be perfect. Everything should be planned, even the reaction of the young boy himself. It wouldn't be a mere stupid fight, but a beautiful, flawlessly staged ballet. At that point everything would be worth it. Slade knew it. And he was really looking forward to it. Feeling like a child, mere days before Christmas. Just like he did in the past. With all the other Titans that had already been taken care of.

Standing near a wall, Slade moved his gloved fingers along it and had a look at them. Dust. After all, it was an old warehouse, not used in what might as well be years. "A minor imperfection." he noted. "Nothing that will take away from the enjoyment." Silently, only he could hear himself laugh. "Not that anything could."

XXX

A day in the tower of the Titans East. Who would have expected it to be so boring? Certainly not Beast Boy, but he soon had to face reality. Yet, the day did start out very amusing, especially with everyone trying to prevent Bumblebee from killing Speedy. Sadly, from this highlight on, everything went downhill.

Speedy was gone half of the day. Nobody was sure whether this was good or bad. At least it gave everyone the chance to talk about the problem at hand, which they surely couldn't have done in his presence. At the same it also made obvious just what the problem was. And while Robin knew it was obviously a very personal issue, he, like all the others, was unsure what it could be and how to react. Beast Boy had to admit...he slowly started to understand just why Bumblebee insisted on Raven's help. Besides that he, even if he didn't really admit it, at least not this time, was mostly bored. Maybe it just the way he was.

Later that day they all had dinner together. For once, even Speedy was there. At that point the day reached an all time low. Nobody said a word. Nobody. Not even Mas and Menos. And not even Beast Boy. It was terrible. It was boring. And worst of all, it just felt wrong.

Having suffered through all this, the green boy needed some entertainment. He had to do something funny, even if he ended up being the only one laughing. He had to do it. Because that was just the way he was. The way he handled uncomfortable situations. Never letting a tragedy take him down. Always standing up and laughing, loud, right in it's face. Showing the world that he was invincible. And maybe even more, showing himself that he was invincible. So there he was, walking around, nothing to do and looking for a chance to change just that.

"I can't believe it. There must be something one could do here." He stopped as he saw one of his favorite rivals. Aqualad. "Hey Aqualad." he said, walking over to him. "Is there anything I can do to be less bored here?"

"You can always watch TV."

"Nah. I can watch TV at home. Besides, the tornado twins are watching some Spanish soap opera." He stared at Aqualad for a while. "Hey, I got an idea. How about a little sparring-match? A fight? A race? Any kind of competition?"

But the boy shook his head. "I don't think this is the right time for something like that."

"Oh...okay." A moment of silence followed. And Beast Boy started poking his friend.

"What are you doing?"  
"I'm bugging you."

"Yeah, I noticed that."

It was amazing. If he wanted – and even if he didn't – Beast Boy could become incredibly annoying amazingly fast. And apparently it was a success, as now Aqualad really seemed willing to fight. Anything, to just hit the changeling once. And suddenly he attacked. Of course, the green one dodged and ran away, with Aqualad close behind him. There fight continued to change it's destination several more times. Every now and then Beast Boy would stop and actually fight back, but he would soon be running away again.

At one point they reached the kitchen, empty with the exception of Raven who was sitting on a chair and, as usual, reading a book Unfortunately for everyone involved, most importantly Raven, this was where things started to become serious and a little bit chaotic.

Using all the water given too him, which was surprisingly much, he attacked Beast Boy. Maybe he was just too annoyed, maybe he did miscalculate, maybe he just wasn't aware of all his powers, but in any way, the flood actually pushed him into the next room and down some stairs, but not without hitting Raven first. Coincidence or suppressed frustrations on Aqualad's side? Who knows. But seconds later he realized what he had just done. Or so he thought.

Once everything was over, the first thing Beast Boy realized – his back hurt. A lot. On the plus side, nothing else did. In fact, he was quite comfortable, lying on something soft. As this thought crossed his mind, little did he realize just what was so oft. Seconds later though, he did.

He was lying on top of Raven. That by itself is bad. But it was worse. Much worse. As he wasn't just lying there – he was, by pure accident, kissing her. And here he thought these things would only happen in mediocre movies and Spanish soap operas. Although, it wasn't really a kiss, as his lips didn't really directly touch hers. His lower lip was barely touching her upper lip. His upper lip on the other hand was on her nose. From the right angle it might've looked like he wanted to either eat her nose or suck on it. And still, he had this weird feeling. It wasn't really a kiss. But it was close enough to bother him. Just like it would probably bother her. Slowly he detached his lips from her face. Trying to say something, he did the first thing that came to mind. He laughed. At least, he did the best he could.

"What is so amusing?" Raven asked in a monotone voice. If she actually cared, she was good at hiding it.

"You have to admit, what are the odds of something like this happening?"

She just looked at him.

"Okay." he said. "I'll just shut up."

Again, she just looked at him.

"And get off you." He got up, as fast as he could, reaching out with his hand to help her stand up. She ignored it and did it herself.

At that point Aqualad showed up. "Are you alright?!"

Raven, still not uttering a single world, picked up her book, now soaked with water, and left, passing Aqualad along the way.

Beast Boy looked at his friend, slightly confused and even more afraid of what this moment might bring forth in the future. And still, he did the only thing he could think of. The only thing he could do.

"Sure, everything is fine. You think I'm bothered by a little shower?"

He grinned.

He joked.

He laughed.


	6. a kiss that never happened

**Chapter 6 – a kiss that never happened**

Confused little Raven. There she was, in the room that would be hers for as long as she and her team stayed in Steel City, lying on the bed yet unable to get some sleep, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what happened. They shared a kiss. Admittedly it was a very weird kiss that neither of the two had intended to happen and that most people would see nothing in besides a vast comedic potential. But it was still a kiss. It was still among the closest she had ever been to a person. And realizing that, Raven was sad.

Poor little Raven. Never had she been this close to a person. And even during that pseudo-kiss all she could do was concentrate, so she wouldn't blow up the entire damn building. And Beast Boy seemed to misunderstand once again. Probably thinking she was angry when she was just trying to focus. He would probably avoid her even more than he did before this incident. And Raven wouldn't be able to tell him it was alright. That she wasn't angry. That she knew it was just an accident. That she actually missed whatever time they had together in the past. All, because she lacked the courage to do so.

Pitiful little Raven. She hated her powers. They were a curse. They restricted what she could feel, could allow herself to feel, and in a way, made her something she had not always been and had never intended to be. She was sarcastic, easily annoyed, all that is herself. But being afraid to feel hatred, true happiness or love was not. Although it was probably her fault, more than her power's. For a long time she also refused to acknowledge that she, like everyone else, sometimes was afraid. By now, she at least admitted that she felt fear – but she still wasn't able to overcome the fear of showing more of herself. She continued to seclude herself from the world around her. Maybe even more, now that Beast Boy stopped bothering her. And yet, all of a sudden and obviously thanks to that accident form before, there was something new within her. And she actually didn't bury it within herself. Hope in a way she never felt before. Dreams she wouldn't have dared dreaming before. Desires that she didn't even know about.

Hopeful little Raven. As much as it was just an accidental contact of skin instead of a true kiss, it still had an impact on her. She began to wonder just how a real kiss would feel. Not just on her lips, but within her soul. Having such a close relationship with someone. Someone who would always be there. And she didn't just ask herself what it would be like. From deep within, she actually wanted such a piece of happiness for herself. And as much as she would avoid ever mentioning it to anyone, as much she would try to fight these feelings, as much she believed she had to fight them, she couldn't resist hoping, dreaming, that maybe, one day, it would actually happen. The rational part of her being asked the inevitable question: With whom? And Raven couldn't help but be shocked and appalled by the first thought that crossed her mind. Beast Boy.

Disgusting little Raven. How could she even think about that? True, he was the one boy closer to her than any other, at least he used to be, but not in such a way. Besides, she had no right to imagine this, being who she was. Not just because of her heritage and her powers, but also because of how she had always treated him. Him not wasting his time with her was the logical reaction caused by her very own behavior, even if she still believed that it was for the safety of everyone. That's what she wanted to tell herself. Yet, with Malchior there was no such problem. And he was important to her, in just that very special way. And looking back, the one who did care about her, even when everyone else didn't argue her desire to be left alone, was, once again, Beast Boy.

Sad little Raven. Fighting so hard against her own feelings. Yet, within a single weak moment, she let go of her imagination. And as strange, unfounded and implausible it may have been, she couldn't get rid of that one thought. The thought of Beast Boy slowly, tenderly and affectionately pressing his lips onto her lips. Still lying on that bed in a room in the tower of the Titans East, she closed her eyes, trying to enjoy this thought for as long as it would last. For as long as she would allow it to last. And as she opened her eyes again, mercilessly interrupting her short dream, it dawned on her that now everything was worse than before. Because she knew what just happened in her mind would never become reality. She couldn't let it happen. Not with him. Not with anyone else. There just was no way for her to be truly happy with anyone. And if not because of her powers, then because of her fear.

Pathetic little Raven. She hated her emotions. They were a curse. Most she couldn't express, because of another feeling like fear. And as she couldn't express her feelings, but forced to hide them within herself, her emotions began to cause her pain, like a rusty blade piercing her gut. And still, she gave in to fear instead of fighting it, avoiding the possibility of pain at any cost even it just meant more pain. Trapped within a circle of fear, no way out, cut off from anyone who was – or might've been – close to her.

Lonely little Raven.

XXX

Speedy. Going out again. Though, unlike so often these days, he was only going for a walk, getting some fresh air, spending some time alone. Might do him some good. Also, again unlike so often these days, he actually told his friends where he was going. And for once nobody bothered to start a fight. They were fine with it. Speedy couldn't deny that he was he relieved. For the first time in quite a while he didn't feel like everything was going to hell because of him.

As randomly walking through the city wasn't quite as much fun as one might think, he started looking through the windows of all kinds of shops. It was a worthy waste of time and it kept him from thinking too much about his situation. He had done that more than enough, just this once he had to keep it out of his mind. The wide selection of different stores the streets of Steel City had to offer seemed to be just perfect for such a task. And the number of options was indeed quite astonishing. Young or old, rich or poor, well-educated or simple-minded, there was the right store for just about everyone. Including the more superstitious members of society as Speedy noticed, standing in front of a shop obviously aimed at attending the needs of those in favor of the occult and the fantastic. Speedy never saw this one before and judging by the looks of it, it was a pretty new store, with a grand opening lying only a few days behind. That is, if such stores do have grand openings.

The boy was just standing there, stopping only to have short look at it, ready to move on, as all of a sudden the door opened, surprisingly enough without anyone there to open it. Speedy looked around, trying to find a camera or a motion sensor but no such thing was there. Enough to make him curious. So he slowly entered the store. Inside there were some tables and shelves covered in dubious goods people would buy, knowing that they probably didn't have any effect at all. Despite these few very shop-like exceptions the store seemed pretty empty, encouraging his suspicion that this was an entirely new establishment.

"Guess you can't expect anything better from shops like these." he mumbled.

"Oh you can. A boy with a past such as yours should know that there is always more than meets the eye." a voice with a heavy, even atrocious, accent said. It seemingly came from another room in the back of the store and being the curious Titan he was Speedy followed it to it's origin. A man in wide clothes, black gloves on his hands and his face hidden by a conveniently falling shadow. The room as a whole as dark as well, with just a single light bulb illuminating parts of it. Enough so Speedy could at least see the body the strange man as well as the table he was sitting behind. "Take a seat, young boy."

Speedy did as he was offered. "So, what do you know about my past?"

"Oh, I know more than enough, Speedy. About the past, the present and the future."

Speedy almost started laughing. "And you knowing my name should be proof of you're powers, right? Except, you know, I AM a celebrity of sorts, so it's common that people know my name."

"Oh, you shouldn't doubt my powers, Roy."

A blank stare. "What did you just call me?"

"I shouldn't have said that, shouldn't I?" The strange man giggled. But now he definitely had Speedys attention.

"That's impossible." the archer said.

"Why that?"

"I mean...how could...I mean..." And so curiosity became confusion.

"Given all the things you witness in your...business...why doubt the existence of something as simple as a fortuneteller?"

"It's just that I've never seen one before."

"But things change. That is what they always do. What they always have done. And thus there might always be first time. Never having witnessed one thing doesn't mean it's not there."

"I got it, I got it." Speedy said. A moment of silence followed as he was thinking about something to say. "So, you're going to tell me about my future, I guess?" This was quite an unusual experience for Speedy. Not that he entirely trusted the strange man or believed his story – there must be dozens of ways to find out what he knows – but it was interesting, to say the least, and therefore the young archer was willing to go along with this game, even if only for a while.

"Oh, I could. Nothing would be easier for me to do. But I think there are present matters that might concern you much more than that."

"Like what?"

"Like what the other Titans think of you." Speedy's look alone was enough to know he wanted him to continue. "They do not trust you anymore. And why should they? You have turned yourself into an outcast. With reasons, I know and you know and your not so innocent little girlfriend knows. But the others don't."

"And it's better that way. They wouldn't understand."

The man nodded in agreement. "With that you are correct, young one. They wouldn't. Maybe even couldn't. But they will find out. And then what?"

"Oh, so it's a given they found out? You checked the future for that information?"

This time around he shook his head. "Why would I have to when there is no need for it? As I said, I think it are present matters that might or at least should concern you. Do you have even the slightest idea why the other Titans happen to be your guests? They have their reasons...and they don't involve vacations. This is not even about the one you call Slade. Oh no, you're missing a much bigger picture."

"And you wouldn't want to explain that to me, would you?"  
"Oh, why not? And as I pity you so much I even do it for free."

"Well, thanks. So?"

"Are you aware of the full potential of Ravens power?" He moved his hands, in no specific motion but it was clear he was trying to visualize just how big said potential must be. "It's vast. She can do many things you would never understand. Even I wouldn't. Among all those talents of her is the one to enter peoples minds. See the world through their eyes. Share their feelings, memories and knowledge. And that is why she and her comrades are at your home, waiting for you to return. In order to find out if they can still trust you...they are willing to betray you. They are willing to invade the on place that is and should always be yours and yours alone. Your mind."

"No." Speedy shook his head, in complete denial. "I don't believe you."  
"And why should you. I'm only a complete stranger. But why not see for yourself? Confront them. Find out the truth. For a hero like you it shouldn't be much of a problem. Correct?"

A moment of silence passed. Then Speedy turned around. "I better go." And thus he left, though, once outside he wasn't just walking anymore. He started to run. He had to find out. Part of him feared the man told the truth.

Sadly, he was. And as Speedy was gone Slade could finally allow himself to pull off the fake skin and go back to his normal voice. Was it all unnecessary? Would there be easier ways too achieve his goal? Probably. But Slade always was a bit on the dramatic or even theatric side of things. In a way it was just more fun. And it allowed him to look him in the eye as the world as he knew it fell apart. What a joy.

"That's right, little boy. Run. Find out the truth. And face your destiny."

XXX

Titans, both East and West, minus Speedy, sitting together in the tower. A good chance to talk about the situation. A situation that, as the original five Titans realized by now, truly needed to be talked about.

"What do you think?" Bumblebee asked.

As usual, Robin was the first to answer. "You were right. With just about everything. He is acting weird and very much so." The others agreed.

"And what are we going to do about it?" The Titans East leader continued.

"That I don't know." Robin sighed.

"Maybe we should confront him?" Starfire suggested, but Bumblebee shook her head.

"Been there, done that."

"Before we can do anything, we need to find out just what the problem is. Once we know what is bothering him, what makes him act so strange we can react in an appropriate manner." Aqualad said. He liked talking like that, somehow it always made him seem both intelligent and important. Also, the girls loved it.

"It's got to be a girl!" Of course this sudden and somewhat silly outburst of what some might refer to as wisdom came from none other than Beast Boy. Maybe that was the reason why the others, as they so often do, just looked at him for a moment and moved on to more logical explanations.

"Maybe someone's blackmailing him? I mean, like Slade did with Robin, you know?" It was the best Cyborg could think of at the moment.

"That's possible, of course." Robin agreed. "Another possibility is that something happened in his surrounding. To his family or a friend, in which case he really needs our help and not us spying on him..."

"But alas, we have no idea just WHAT is the actual problem." Bumblebee reminded him. "So..." She continued, now looking at Raven. "In the end it all comes down to you having a...closer look at him."

Raven shook her head. "I understand the problem, but I think it would have to be a lot worse for me to go that far."

"I'm afraid it would be best if you do it. I know you're reasons to refuse, but what if we have to deal with an actual threat here?" Robin wouldn't force her to do it. He didn't even want her to do it. Yet sometimes it seems to be the only way. It sadly did so now.

Raven looked at Robin., sighing and nodded in agreement. She hated the thought. But she understood his reasoning.

"Then it's settled. First thing when he's back, Raven will get it over with." Bumblebee decided.

Unfortunately nobody paid enough attention to notice the presence of the archer, who happened to be the topic of the discussion, standing outside of the room, making out as much as he could. He feared it would turn out to be true. He hoped it wouldn't be. He wasn't so lucky. The ease with which his friends seemed to agree on betraying him was the worst of it, hurting even more than the fact that they decided to it to begin with. Was he such a bother? It seemed so. But he wouldn't bother them anymore. For long he thought about it. On his way back to the tower, running in fear of what he might find out, the thought returned. Now, listening to his friends' conversation – or at least parts of it – he finally made a decision.

He walked to the entrance, leaving the tower. For good. Not turning back even once. Leaving behind nothing. Except one thing. The device he put on a table before leaving this life behind and moving on to the next alongside his true love. The one thing that in the past days reminded him of what he, despite the circumstances, still was, but wouldn't do so anymore.

His communicator. The communicator of a former Titan.


	7. an honest kiss

**Chapter 7 – an honest kiss**

He ran. As fast as he could and faster than he had ever ran before. At least as far as he could remember. Speedy just wanted to get away from the tower, from his friends, from everything. The stench of betrayal is a surprisingly strong odor and one he definitely couldn't stand. But it wasn't only that. He was also afraid he would change his mind if he stayed too close for too long. Because in the end, it wasn't like he didn't want to be with his friends. It wasn't like he didn't love being a Titan.

But it was no longer the way that was meant for him. His life lead him to a different route. One he could only walk without his friends, but hand in hand with his very special girl.

Finally he reached the spot where they so often met. All left to do was to sit down and wait. Not an easy task. Not for him, not the way he felt at the moment. But it was all he could do.

It was a terrible feeling.

Hours passed, yet he still hadn't calmed down as Cheshire finally appeared.

"Hello there." she said.

He looked at her. Cheshire. The girl of his dreams. The one that meant more to him than anyone else. Even more than his friends. And as he stared at her, silent, he started to think. Did her feelings equal his? What if he wasn't as special to her as she was to him? What if he was just another boy? Sure, maybe he was getting paranoid. Still, the thoughts were thought, the fear was there and he had to get rid of it. He had to be sure. He was about to choose the path to follow for probably the rest of his life. There's no maybe, sorta, kinda in such a situation. He had to be sure.

"Speedy?" she approached him again as he didn't answer the first time.

Speedy. That's what she called him. He wanted to be with her, forever, for all he knew. And she still referred to him as Speedy.

"Sp-"

"Roy." he interrupted her. "Call me Roy."

A blank stare was her first reaction. "What?"

"I said you should call me Roy. After all, it is my name."

She seemed surprised. Who wouldn't be, after all, telling her his real name was bound to have a pretty huge impact and he knew it. She walked over, sat down next to him and asked the obvious question. "There are many things...going through my head at the moment. Let me begin with asking...just what happened to you?"

For a moment he felt like he should be insulted. He takes the next big step in their relationship and she asks him what happened. But again, who could blame her. He was acting in the most unusual way. It bothered him, there was no way to hide it. "I left the Titans." So he might as well just say it.

This time around she wasn't just surprised. She was shocked. "You did...what? Why?"

"They betrayed me. They wanted Raven to...screw around in my brain. Enter my mind. It's...I just wouldn't let that happen. No way I was gonna let it happen. Besides...I had to make a decision."

"A decision?"

"Them...or you. I picked you. And you want to know why?" He hesitated. "Bercause. You know. Because I love you." He just looked around, his eyes wandering around, avoiding to look at anything for too long. "I love you." After focusing for a while and using all the courage he had left, he looked back at her and into her eyes. "And you know what's the dumbest part of all this? I don't even know if it was worth it. If YOU were worth it."

That last remark had to hurt, but she didn't show it. She never allowed anyone to share her pain. "Do you have doubts?"

"I just don't know. I know I love you and want to be with you. For my whole life. But what about you?"

She smiled. "You sweet little idiot. I love you too. More than I'm willing to admit. More than I ever wanted to allow myself."

"And you mean it?"

"I've never been so serious before."

That was a load off his mind. "I'm sorry for..asking you this. It's just that after everything that happened..."

"No need to explain." She may not have been a hero, but she was still human and she understood how he must've felt. "I assume you have no place to go to, having left the Titans so suddenly? How about my place?"

"That would help me...a lot." And it was further proof of her trust and just how serious their relationship was. "So...unless you think of it as too...intimate...I would like to stay with you."

"Oh, no. I don't mind. Besides..." She leaned over to him, grinning, eyes like a wild cat in front of its prey. "I've been thinking for a while...about getting more...intimate."

He gulped. "So your place it will be."

"My place it will be." As she spoke she got up and placed herself on his lap, putting her hands around his neck. "I love you, Roy."

"And I love you, Cheshire."

Getting closer to him, her lips barely not touching his, she whispered. "Call me Jade."

With that said she closed the remaining gap and kissed him. It was more than just physical contact. Now, more than with any kiss before, it was a way express their feeling for each other. It was a kiss, unequaled in terms of it's meaning. Of it's purity. Of it's emotion.

It was a truly honest kiss of love.

XXX

"Now what?" Aqualad asked, looking at Bumblebee, still holding Speedy's communicator in her hand.

She was starring at it. Angry, confused, sad. And then she put it down, clenching her fist as soon as the device had left the grip of her fingers. She was furious. Furious, because she had to admit it. "I don't know. I just don't know what now."

Mas and Menos sighed; Aqualad looked at the ground; Beast Boy tried to think, but didn't manage; Cyborg did think about several things, but wished he wouldn't have; Robin was thinking about their next step; Starfire could think of only one logical next step but wasn't sure whether she should say it and Raven...Raven felt guilty. While part of her wanted to make a sarcastic remark about how she told them it was a stupid idea, what bothered her more was the everlasting guilt, because once again her powers are cause of her friends' suffering.

"Maybe we should be looking for him?" Starfire suggested after a moment of silence.

Robin nodded in agreement. "I doubt that there is anything else we can do at the moment."

"You're right." Bumblebee said. "Lets go look for him. And lets hope for his sake that I won't be the one finding him first." As she spoke, she forced herself to smile. "I'd say we split up. Groups of two."

The twins immediately let everyone else know that they would be going together. At least that was what it sounded like.

"Of course you two together, we wouldn't have it any other way, not that it would make much sense." Bumblebee was mumbling the last part. "For the rest of you, lets make this fast. Robin, you and your girlfriend. Beast Boy goes with Aqualad, Terra with Raven and Sparky with me, everything got that? Good, lets move out."

Moments later the small teams hurried out of the tower and were all over the city, looking for Speedy. Even if some Titans were unhappy with the partner they were given.

XXX

At last. It was done. Preparations were complete, all left to be done was to bait the boy. It wouldn't be too difficult of a task. Betrayed by his own, in love for the first time, desiring acknowledgment, approval and respect by both, his friends and his woman. Given the chance he would act on his own, follow his enemy into his own demise. Slade will give him the opportunity to prove himself. And if the boy acts as expected, like they always do, death will not only be inevitable, but also be a sight to behold. Slade had prepared as much. The stage was set, the pieces were present, with the exception of the last one.

Thinking, Slade walked around in the by now not quite as empty warehouse. The concept of the trap was a simple one, but being part of the higher society of villainy, Slade at least expected a certain beauty. A mere slaughter was beneath him. He wanted to see him struggle. Fight. And in the end, he would have a front row seat for the moment the young archer would realize just how hopeless it all was. And once he saw that change in the look in his eyes, the desperation being even greater if he were immediately confronted with his upcoming death...only then would he be satisfied. Only then would it be a story, truly worth telling.

"I wonder..." Slade said, despite nobody being there to listen. "I wonder just how long he will last." Looking at everything he hoped it would be a while. There were more than enough ways for the boy to postpone the inevitable. He himself made sure there would be. The question remained, would he be intelligent enough to realize it?

Slade didn't know. Not like it mattered.  
Because soon, he would.

XXX

High above the ground, above the roofs of Steel City, Raven was flying, Terra on a floating rock at her side, both looking for Speedy.

"Do you think we'll find him?" Terra asked.

"Do you want an honest answer?" Raven replied, waiting until Terra had nodded. "I doubt it. He is a Titan after all. Or was. The point being...if he wouldn't want to be found, which obviously seems to be the case, he should be able to prevent himself from being found."

"Yeah. You're probably right, but...I mean there can only be so many places he can stay at, right? Plus, he IS a hero, he's bound to appear in public. Besides, you're all his friends. You should know him, that oughta help as well, am I right?"

"We only know as much about each other as we allow each other to know." Raven noted.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We all have our secrets. This entire incident should be proof of that. We may think we know him, but can't be sure."

Terra sighed. "That makes sense, I guess. It's just that...do you have any secrets?"

"Of course." Raven answered without hesitating. "You don't?"

The blond girl thought about for moment. "No really." was her conclusion. "Not anymore. Not after everything that happened."

And even Raven could understand. In her case, her secrets were the cause of her downfall. Of course she wouldn't want anything like that to happen again.

"Besides...I owe you. After what I did, I don't want to keep things from you. Not from anyone of you." she continued.

"Noble. But you're exaggerating. We all have at least some secrets."

"Okay. You want a secret of mine?" Terra looked at Raven, determined to prove something, though she probably had no idea just what. "I'm still thinking about it. All the time. About what I did. And I keep asking myself why you still accepted me. Why I'm still a friend of yours."

"Because you are. It's that simple." Raven didn't even bother to look back at her.

"Is it that simple?"

"Of course it is. Especially for Beast Boy. I don't even know if he ever truly blamed you. He always believed in you."

A smile appeared on the blond girls face. "That's nice."

"And naive."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"Because it is. At least in his case it is just too much and reaches the fine line between naivety and stupidity."

A moment of silence followed, after which it was Terra that spoke again. "Just what is your problem?" Raven just looked at her, saying nothing, so she continued. "You know...you've changed. Back then you were...teasing. Being sarcastic. Making jokes in your own unique way. Now you're just insulting him. Beast Boy, that is. Why? I just want to know what happened."

"I don't have to explain myself."

"Just know you said I was a friend. Isn't it stuff like that friends talk about?" She was getting louder. Somehow it was infuriating her. It wasn't just what was said, but also how it was said.

"Yes, but I also said we all have our secrets."

"Fine. I told you a secret of mine, now it's your turn."

"I didn't ask you to tell me your secret."

"And yet you listened!" she shouted.

Much to Raven's surprise. More moments of silence passed and just as Terra was about to apologize Raven gave in. "Very well." she said. "But you won't tell anyone about this."

"I promise."

"I'm not asking you to promise. I'm just letting you know." Raven explained, in an almost threatening and definitely intimidating voice. "It's about Beast Boy. Ever since you returned he...he stopped bothering me. And I didn't do anything to prevent that, acting more hostile every other day. And before you say anything, yes, I am aware that it is all I ever wanted. To be left alone. I always wanted a certain amount of privacy, but now...now I'm getting too much of it. I'm...lonely. And the more I push him away..the more I...the more HE leaves me alone...the more I realize just how important he is to me."

Terra couldn't be more surprised. This was pretty big and the way it came out, it wasn't Raven being pushed to share a secret, but rather Raven finally finding an excuse to talk to someone about something that obviously bothered her. That obviously mattered. "Raven. That sounds like you're in l-"

"DON'T say it. Trust me. At first I was as confused as you might be right now and I considered all the possibilities and trust me, THAT is not an option. Yes, I do have feelings for him, like I do for all of you. And yes, those feelings may in his case be stronger than usual, but still, that's not it. It's something else. It is just that...I miss the certainty he gave me. The knowledge that someone is there and deeply cares about me and shows it. Even Starfire is more focused on other things, who could blame her given that she is trying to have..or begin, whichever it is, a relationship with Robin. It's just that...yes, Beast Boy annoyed me. But I've grown accustomed to that. And now I miss it. The bad jokes, the laughter, just his presence. That is all. Not that it ain't enough."

Terra nodded in agreement, although she almost started to giggle. "Maybe. And Raven? I don't know how can help you. I don't even know if you want my help. But...why don't you tell him?"

"And risk making a fool of myself? I don't think so. Besides, it would be pointless. He wouldn't understand me, I'm not even sure I understand myself."

"It may be risk. But it's also worth trying."

Raven said nothing. For a while, at least, until she replied. An answer that came as quite a surprise for Terra, but also made her smile.

"Maybe."


	8. a forced kiss

**Chapter 8 – a forced kiss**

Speedy was lying in bed, only the blanket reaching up to his chest, covering his otherwise bare skin. He was still breathing heavily, but for the first time in a while, he was completely calm and at peace. Any doubts he might have ever had about his love were disappeared long ago and still, this moment managed to seem even more perfect that any moment before and even allowed him to overcome and forget all the other things in his life that bothered him. For now.

"Are you alright?" asked Cheshire, as she moved closer to him, placing her hand on his chest. She was lying right next to him, sharing the very same blanket.

"Yes." was his short answer.

She smirked. "I hope so." Slowly her expression changed to an honest smile. "For the record...I also can't remember being any happier, than right now, being here with you."

He smiled as well. Spending time with Cheshire he had learned one thing – she may put up a tough and mature facade, but within she was still just a teenager. Like him. And every moment they shared meant a lot to her. And in these moments, they shared everything, every feeling, not just their love, but also frustration, envy, rage and fear. They trusted each other enough to do so – and it felt right. Spending the night together was more than just a random thing to do out of enjoyment. It was something special that helped their bond grow even more.

It was a thing of love. And neither of them could be any happier.

"What will you do now?" the girl asked all of a sudden.

"I have no idea." he replied. "But you know what?"

"What?"

"As long as I'm with you, it doesn't really matter."

As touching as those words were, Cheshire couldn't keep herself from laughing, albeit silently, at his remark.

"What's so funny?" he wanted to know, obviously bothered by her reaction.

"I'm sorry." she said. "But do you have any idea how corny that sounds?"

"Well..."He smirked. "Did it work?"

She grinned, moved her head closer to his and they shared a fleeting kiss. "Guess."

"Maybe later."

They just looked at each other, smiling. After a while though, the smile on the girl's face disappeared. "Tonight, you'll be going out again, right? Doing your hero-thing?"

Speedy hesitated, but finally nodded. "Yes. I know at the moment it's complicated. But so far...it still is what I do. Whether I'm a Titan or not is not important in that case. Besides...it makes me feel better."

"I thought that's what I'm here for?"

Giggling, he shook his head. "Sorta. But you know what I mean, don't you?"

Showing her more serious face again, she replied. "Yes. I believe I do."

"And?"

"For now, it is something I have to live with. Accepting such things does come with the whole being in love situation. Besides, it's to early in our relationship to start changing you."

He smiled.

"I really love you."

She smirked.

"Of course you do."

XXX

"Understood." Aqualad said, before putting his communicator away after just having contacted Mas and Menos.

"What did they say?" Beast Boy asked. The two of them were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking the path of more than just one person. They also were close to the ocean, just in case. They must've been really close as far as Beast Boy could tell from the smell his nose caught. Smelled oceany.

"Don't ask me. But judging from how they sounded, it's unlikely that they were any luckier than us." the boy explained.

"Just like all the others." The changeling sighed. They've been searching for far too long now and with every moment it seemed less likely that they'd be able to find him. "This sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"What shall we do?"

"Keep looking, what else? I mean, there is not much we CAN do right now, is there? Or do you have any ideas?"

"No." he answered. "Not really." Although he still wasn't happy with just looking. There had to be another way. Or more than one. As freaking superheroes they should be able to find one guy, one of their own friends of all people. "But just looking for him wherever we go won't do us any good."

"Look, I'm not any happier with how things are going than you are and I'm just as tired, but Bumblebee and Cyborg are already checking out the places he's usually seen at as well as the places where you'd never see him, what more do you want?"

Good question. What was it he wanted? He wanted to know the reason. Personally, he still thought it was a girl and all they had to do was find her, so they'd find him. That's how it always works on television. But given how fairly stupid his idea was, which it was, that much he had to admit, he would rather not mention it again. "I don't know."

And with that he remained silent.

XXX

"I swear, once we find him I am so going to hurt him." One would expect that after a while Bumblebee would actually calm down, but amazingly, the exact opposite was the case. She was getting angrier and angrier.

"I know that. You already told me. At least twenty times by now!" One would also expect Cyborg to show at least some kind of fear when dealing with an angry heroine, but it seemed that after a certain point it stopped being intimidating and became simply annoying.

"Just shut up, will ya?!" she shouted.

"No! I won't! You're not the only one effected and bothered by this, so you've got no right whatsoever to act like this and I won't just stand here letting you shout at everyone and everything just because you're pissed off, you got that?" Now she'd probably kill him, but at least he had used this opportunity to let off some steam.

Bumblebee's reaction though was frighteningly calm. "But it bothers me more than the others."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the leader." she explained. "It is my job to hold this team together, to make everything work, to make everyONE work the way he's supposed to. And I failed. I probably pushed him off the team myself. And I don't like that. I don't like that at all."

He sighed, but forced himself to smile. "Well, if it helps you, you should know that these things happen all the time. I mean, with us, everyone has been of the team at least once. Do you how often I had to go through the whole initiation thing? Four or five times already! It's terrible and it never gets any less embarrassing either.

"So you think he'll come back?"

"I'm pretty positive on that." he said, nodding to himself while doing so. "Besides. If it has any meaning for you...I'd say you're a good leader."  
"Good?"  
He smirked. "Yeah. I would have said great, but I thought it would be better to be honest."

She grinned. "You are aware I still want to hurt somebody, so if I were you, I'd be more careful while choosing my words."

"I'll take that risk."

XXX

Robin and Starfire were standing in front of the entrance of a shady looking club. It was the kind of place you would expect villains to spend there time at, doing villain things like taking drugs or listening to Tom Jones music.

"You really this place is where we might find Speed?" Starfire asked.

"Personally? No." Robin shook his head. "But chances are he's in there just because of that."

The girl hesitated. "So shall we not walk into it?"

"Sure, right, enter, yes." Currently unable to follow his own trains of thoughts he ignored the images of classic villains form his past appearing in his head, entered the club along with Starfire and lo and behold – no psychos, at least none that looked the part. Most of the people looked quite ordinary, but it was a rather big club, so while looking for Speedy, they had more than enough opportunities to meet at least one person that turns out to be intolerable. Given their luck, they would find that one at the first try.

"Should we separate and ask the questions?"

He nodded. Somewhere someone MUST have seen him. They had been looking for him long enough, so a little bit of success would've been nice.

Splitting up, they started asking random people about Speedy. The fact that they – as well as the archer – were quite famous made the whole thing a lot easier, because there never was a need for long and complex explanations. But, as usual, there was a problem.

"What do you mean?" Robin asked the barkeeper, who instead of answering his question just told him to get out.

"I mean what I said. This ain't no place for kids, so get out now."  
"I'm a Teen Titan and this is important."  
"You said it yourself, Teen Titan. As in Not Adult Titan."

Robin sighed. What and annoying old bastard. "Fine, but would you care to answer my question first? Have you seen the one known as Speedy here? Archer? Red hair?"

"No, I haven't. Because as you just might guess – no kids in here allowed."

"Yeah. You've made that quite clear."

Not willing to waste any more time on this the boy wonder turned around and began looking for Starfire within the crowd. "Star?"

The green-eyed alien girl was, in the meantime, most confused by and noticeably older guy talking to here in a way did not in the slightest way make her feel comfortable. Quite the contrary in fact.

"So, I always wondered about one thing..." the man said, grinning. "When you fly, up in the sky and sometimes closer to the ground, you're not scared that someone might take a look under your skirt?"

"I do not think you are in a position to ask question like this one. But if you would leave me alone then, I might just tell you, that my race is not as concerned by these things as your people are. We do not get embarrassed as easily." she explained in a rather calm voice.

"I like that. Would you let me find out just when you'll get embarrassed?"

Now that was just creepy, even Starfire realized it. "You should know, that I am a lot younger than you are, so you should not talk like that."

"Don't worry. I like 'em young." And with that the creep simply forced his mouth onto hers. Now Starfire wasn't shy or anything like that, but what this guy was doing was not only socially unaccepted on this world, but simply against her will. Forcing a kiss with an underage but insanely powerful alien warrior? Not a good idea.

As Robin, who had finally spotted Starfire, saw that he hurried to get to her, help her get rid of this guy. It was ye olde protective instinct. "Starfire!" he shouted. Only problem was, by the time he got close enough the guy was thrown halfway across the room and everyone, including Robin, now looked at the alien girl with the angry face and the glowing eyes.

"Soooo..." said Robin. "You need help?"

XXX

After all this time, there was one thing Speedy had to admit. It was weird leaving the house without his costume on. He wasn't used to it anymore. That in itself was actually quite frightening. He lived his life in costume, not as himself. Was there even a Roy anymore? Or was he just Speedy, teen hero? He probably wouldn't even mind the latter one. Just the realization was quite a shock.

There also was another costume related fact he just now realized. It was not easy to hide bow and arrow. He managed to cram it all into an oversized bag, but not without it looking completely ridiculous and everyone looking at it wouldn't have much trouble figuring out that there was a bow inside. The thing was too damn big. For the first time he started thinking about maybe changing his style, using different weapons. A crossbow, guns, anything, just as long as it was more user-friendly than a bow. A new identity wouldn't be so bad to begin with, seeing as he had to leave his old life behind.

Suddenly something pulled him out of his thoughts. A noise, a rather loud one, one of the exploding kind. Immediately he started to run in the direction, but upon realizing he had to change into his costume first he ran into the next dark alley – and in cities like these, there are plenty of dark alleys – quickly changing his outfit. He was in a hurry, so he didn't bother being careful and basically ripped the bag apart as he attempted to get out his bow and arrows. Once Roy had finally changed into Speedy he was ready and continued to run in the direction of the explosion, hoping it wasn't too late.

As he arrived, it appeared it wasn't, for there were still more than enough of the culprits present – robots. The exact same robots Slade used so very often, not that you would expect them to belong to anyone else, given their very Slade-centric paint job. What they wanted he couldn't tell, after what must have been quite a big explosion he wasn't even sure just where exactly he was, as whatever place this was, it was in ruins.

Quickly, as expected from Speedy, he pulled the first arrow and only seconds later half a dozen of those machines were already destroyed. The others seemed hesitant, slowly moving back. It seemed safe, so the archer took his time and he pulled an arrow out of one of the metal heads. "You're not going to attack?" he asked. Of course, there was no reply. Instead, they just ran away – and Speedy followed them.

XXX

At the same time, at another place, Slade was waiting. Waiting for his prey to arrive. His robots would let him follow them, keep him busy for a while, exhaust him in the process. But not too much. After all, he still wanted to enjoy what was coming, because, while the outcome of the battle was predestined, there was no reason for it to be a short fight. After all – where would be the fun in that?


	9. a long kiss

**Chapter 9 – a long kiss**

"Well." Cyborg said, looking at nothing but ruins. Whatever this place used to be, there wasn't much of it left. "Someone sure enjoyed themselves."

"But we're obviously late to the party." Bumblebee remarked.

"You have any idea what could have done this?" Cyborg asked to which the girl nodded.

"Slade. His robots to be exact. Not the first time this happened either. It's why we called you to begin with. One of the reasons, anyway."

"Oh. See, it may not be the right time, but we really should be looking into it, maybe we can find anything, any clues, something."

The leader of the Titans East just shook her head. "No need to bother, but if it makes you feel better. Don't expect to find anything though."

"Why not?"

"We never did, every single time. Those things know how to hide their trails. Sadly."

Cyborg sighed. He remained silent for a while and began chewing on his lower lip, as if it would help to concentrate. He thought, thought about what to do, but he didn't reach any solutions that went beyond your standard hero attitude and answer for everything. "The least thing we could do is try it."

Bumblebee smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Not one to give up, are you? Must be a Titans West thing."

The boy shook his head. "I'd like to think, that it is a hero thing."

"Nah, definitely a Titans West thing."

XXX

Robin looked at her. Damn, was she beautiful and in more than one way so. Generally, Robin was used to the shy, innocent Starfire. The Starfire that was so special. That he so much wanted to protect. She was pure, by any possible understanding of the word. She was so afar of all the filth in this world, in many cases she wasn't even aware of it, and whether she was a hero or not, part of Robin never wanted that to change. Albeit a bit childish or naive sometimes, although it might be a problem one day, for now, he wanted her to be free of all those things. He didn't want her to turn into a cynic, dark figure, like so many other heroes have. Heroes close to him, even including himself. He didn't want her to share such a faith. She deserved better.

But there was also the Starfire he had witnessed just now. The warrior with the unrivaled temperament. She was strong (dear lord was she ever strong), she believed in herself, she could enter the most furious rants of insults that he fortunately enough didn't understand (for the most part, that is, as the occasional insult got stuck in his mind over time), she was determined and when she was truly sure about something, there were few ways – if any – to change her mind.

And it wasn't for either one of them, but the combination both, of those and any all other aspects of her personality, that he loved her. Not that he planned to tell her anytime soon. There was too much of a disturbed, little bat within himself, too much fear, too much need to be in control. But it didn't matter, because, despite his reluctance to tell her how he felt, he did not mind, that she already knew it anyway, or so he believed. At least she never forced him into actually saying it. She gave him the time, all the time he needed, which in his case was more than she was comfortable with, but alas, she loved him as much as he loved her and accepting one another is just one part of being in love.

"Robin?" she asked, cautious, as he seemed to be lost within his own thoughts. Something she had gotten used to by now.

"Yes?" he replied, looking at her, bewildered, as if he had been somewhere else until know and didn't understand how he got here. Before the alien girl could reply he grabbed her hand and went to the exit. He spoke while ignoring his first, baffled reaction. "Let's get out of here."

Quite happy to find him hold her hand, but highly confused about his reason for doing so she couldn't help but ask a few questions. "Why? Did we not go here to look for our friend? Have you already taken a look around?"

"No. I mean, he wasn't there, but that's not the point right now." Once they were outside he let go of her hand.

"Then what is?"

"Star, that guy...I mean..." Robin was looking for the right words while quickly gesturing with both arms.

"He kissed me." she finished his sentence, at which moment he pointed at her.  
"That is what I mean. I mean, are you alright?"

She was surprised at just how much the entire situation apparently angered and confused him. "Yes, of course I am. It was a mere kiss. He did not hurt me. I do think that I hurt him though." she tried to calm him down.

It worked. At least, partly. He looked at her, thinking about what she said. "That is...good, I guess." He took a deep breath. "I still think we should go back to the tower for now. It's late and in the darkness we have even less of a chance to find him. We need to rest." As she nodded in agreement, another question crossed his mind and demanded to be asked, ignoring the sudden shift back to the previous topic. "Don't you bother?" Her confused facial expression proved that is indeed too sudden a change of topic. "That he kissed you." the boy explained. "Didn't it bother you at all?"

Starfire sighed and shook her head. "Robin. You have known me for a while. You have learned a lot about me and my kind. Do you not remember? We kiss people to learn languages, the act is normal, for us and not as private as it is for you. I disliked it, because I did not wish for it to happen, not with him. You could say it did bother me. But I not care beyond that. It was a situation I would normally soon forget."

Robin looked down, nodding several times and placing his fingers on his temples, ignoring half the things she said, because it were all things he was aware of. "I know, I know..."

And suddenly, she as asked what was an unnecessary, but obviously the right question. "Does it bother YOU?"

"Yes! Yes, it does! I mean, of course it does. Shouldn't you know that?"

Of course, she knew. Still wanted him to say it and more than that. "Robin, why is it that it bothers you so much?"

"BECAUSE" he shouted, but interrupted himself. After taking a deep breath, he began anew. "Because..." And he realized that he did not know how to continue. Or to be precise, he was uncertain how to actually put his feelings into words.

But Starfire wouldn't wait for him to make something up. She wanted an honest answer and she wanted it right now. "Yes?"

"Because you're my girlfriend!" he finally stated. "You're my girlfriend and I love you and if anyone kisses you it should be me!" Unsurprisingly, this was probably one of the most honest things he ever told her.

At first the alien just stared at him, overwhelmed by the amount of information. She wasn't used to Robin simply stating the obvious like this, not when his personal life was the topic in question. After a moment that it took for her to process everything she stepped closer, now standing right in front of him. "Robin. It may happen, often, that my lips touch someone else's. But there never are any feelings. It is never anything special. You could say that I just touch them. You are the only one I REALLY kiss. And that is not going to change."

He looked up at her. She looked down at him. They knew how they felt. The knew what they wanted. And so it should come as a surprise to nobody, that only seconds later their lips united in a kiss. It was more than just their lips touching though. There were feelings. There was love. It was a passionate, deep and long kiss.

XXX

It was late. Really late. And is it often happens to be when it is late, it was also dark. But within the tower of the Titans East, not a single soul was sleeping. None of them really could.

"What are we going to do now?" Cyborg finally asked. They were all sitting together, though most of them didn't look at each other and preferred staring at the ground or a near wall. Especially Bumblebee. "I don't know." she replied without turning her head. She sighed and repeated herself. "I just don't know."

"We'll keep looking. Tomorrow. Not much else we can do." Aqualad said. "And we should get some sleep. At least for today." He remained silent for a moment, before he continued. "Not that I feel like sleep myself..."

"Neither do I." Bumblebee said. "I think we should be out there. Heck, what am I saying, I'll probably just go. I mean...I wouldn't be able to get much sleep anyway."

Mas and Menos were the next to speak. Not that anyone understood them, but what the message was rather clear. There was no way anyone would get them to sleep right now.

Robin shook his head, but he grinned, even if just ever so slightly. "I guess...if I think about it I don't feel much like sleeping either."

"Nor do I. I could never sleep with our friend still missing." Starfire followed up on what the others had said. In her case there was probably more truth in her statement than with all the others.

For a moment there, everyone looked at Raven, expecting her to keep going, but she remained silent. Instead Terra quickly reacted and was next to speak. "I'm not tired at all." she said.

"Me neither." Cyborg said.

"I'm actually kinda hungry." Beast Boy admitted, much to everyone's amusement. Hidden by her friends laughter, silently, even Raven chuckled for a moment.

And suddenly, there was another voice, not belonging to any of them. "Seems like you're having fun." it – she! – said. As the heads of all those Titans turned towards her, Cheshire slowly stepped forward, out of the shadow.

"We need to talk."

XXX

Time went by as Cheshire told her story. Not too much though, as she reduced it to the most important details of just what her and Speedy's relationship was like and what situation he was in. There were many things these people didn't need to know and she wasn't going to tell them.

There was another reason for why she only told as much as necessary and as little as possible – she didn't want to waste any time. Quite the opposite in fact, as it seemed like she was in a hurry, as most of the Titans noticed, but didn't bother mentioning. Right now, there were other, more important things.

And while it wasn't all that much, at least going by the number of words uttered or the amount of time that had passed, what Cheshire had just told them can be summed up rather well with the words: a lot.

There were a lot of things she said, albeit with as little words as possible.

There were a lot of things they didn't knew and frankly, never would have expected.

There were a lot of things they had to handle right now.

And as was to be expected, most of them seemed surprised, shocked or even disappointed and had trouble finding the right words after Cheshire had finished. As was certainly not to be expected, it was Raven who spoke first.

"I can't believe it." she said. "Beast Boy was actually right."

"Well, thanks!" a sarcastic changeling replied.

Raven didn't quite know why she broke the silence the way she did, why she had to make fun of him, maybe even insult him again. Maybe she had conditioned herself to be that way. It was fitting and it wouldn't be the first time either. Much of her personality was the way it was solely because she deemed it necessary to be that way – not because she actually was or wanted to be. This time though, she wouldn't put up with herself and forced herself to apologize.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. As loud as she could bring herself to be, which sadly wasn't all that loud. There was no reaction. He probably hadn't heard it. Raven gave up and left it at that.

Robin was the one who returned to the obvious topic at hand. "Why are you telling us all this?" he asked while looking at Cheshire.

"Many reasons. If he wouldn't have done it at some point, I would've probably told you anyway. But that is not why I'm here. I'm here because I'm worried. I know it has been different for you in the past, but I know him as someone who is usually on time. Even when he goes out in the evening or at night, doing the whole hero thing. There are times when he's a little late, but not like tonight. We're talking about several hours here. That is not him. At first I believed he had come back to you or maybe he just wanted to see you again for a while, I'm not sure. But in hope of finding him I came here, unsuccessfully, obviously. I'm afraid something may have happened. Something he can't handle alone. I...we need to find him. Please, help me."

None of the Titans would have expected her to care so much, but there she was and with her every word it became more obvious just how worried she was.

Bumblebee sighed, but only seconds later she smirked. "Well then, we should get going."

"But where do begin?" Aqualad interrupted her before she could say anything else. "We've got some new information, fine, but just like before, we have essentially no idea where he could be."  
"But as you said yourself" the leader of the Titans East replied, "we got some new information. Before we assumed he was hiding. Now we know he's probably out there, in costume, on duty and most likely in trouble. Should be noticeably easier to find a trace, especially if we're all looking for it."

"That is" Cyborg said, "if we haven't found it already."

"What do you mean?" Bumblebee as well as the others looked at him. Then it began to dawn on her. "Oh no..."

"What?!" Cheshire asked in a way that made it clear that she wanted an answer – now!  
"I think we got an idea of what we might be dealing with. What he might be up against."

"WHAT?!" the villainess repeated, something she didn't like to do, didn't like to be forced to do. She grew more impatient by the second.

"Slade."

XXX

At another time. At another place.

A giant warehouse. And Speedy was standing right in front of it.  
He had followed Slade's robots to this place and by the time the machines had disappeared inside it had become obvious that this was either a hideout (be that for Slade or just his creations), a trap or both. Most likely both.

Still no good reason to not enter the building. It was just a matter of how he should do it. The door would be pretty stupid, so that was not an option. The roof on the other hand...

The young archer took a step back and looked up. Getting up wasn't much of an issue. He pulled out an arrow attached to a rope and aimed upwards. As he let go it darted up and hit the upper edge of the wall with the tip of the arrow piercing into the concrete. The boy pulled at the rope several times and, as soon as he was certain that it would hold, he climbed up onto the roof. Once up there he took a look around, though he saw it with his first glances – a glass window. While looking through it and into the warehouse he wondered just what its purpose was. It obviously wasn't there for reasons of lighting, because from what he could tell, most of the insides was still covered in darkness with only the spot right beneath the window being illuminated. Maybe going in this way wasn't such a good idea after all. Then again, he was quite aware of just how likely this was going to end up being a trap. But he had no communicator and given that was pretty much on his own. At least he was aware of what to expect and he was ready to fight. In the worst case he would have to escape. He could deal with that. Just leaving now and getting help would equal wasting a chance – after all, who knew if they would still be here later? Right here and now, he could achieve something in the name of the greater good and wasn't that why he was a hero to begin with?

No doubts. No hesitation. He was willing to go in.

He pulled out another arrow and much like the first one it was also attached to a rope, only this time he aimed at the ground right between his feet. After he shot the arrow into the roof tried to pull it out. Hoping it would be able to carry his weight like the first one, he now opened the window, threw down the rope and commenced climbing down. As he felt the solid floor under his feet he let go of the rope and began looking around or at least he tried. He was surprised just how dark it really was down here. Yeah, definitely a trap.

"So, what's gonna happen now?" he asked into the nothingness that surrounded him.

He was still caught by surprise when someone actually answered. "Now begins the grand finale to the story that was your life." the voice said. Speedy recognized it immediately – it belonged to Slade.

And then there was light. At first, as it was so sudden, it blinded the young, but his eyes quickly got accustomed to it. Now he looked around once more – and for a moment he was speechless. He was surrounded by machines, countless of them. He was surprised that someone could fit that many in this building. He was even more surprised that someone would use such an amount of resources against just himself. He was hopelessly outnumbered.

"Crap..."


	10. an unrequited kiss

**Chapter 10 – an unrequited kiss**

Oh what a sight. Oh what a fight. This performance, as you may very well call it, could only be described as beautiful. And Slade enjoyed every moment of it. The movements, the technique, the grace – it was a display of perfection on both sides. The masked villain was actually surprised, although, in retrospect, he shouldn't have been. Speedy was not weak. He may have stood in the shadow of Robin, to whom he was so often compared, but people, even Slade for a moment, kept forgetting one important thing.

Speedy could take on Robin.

He wasn't stronger, but neither was the other boy. Smarter, perhaps, but that advantage alone wouldn't ensure victory should they ever fight again. They were in the same league...and it was a good league to be in.

It were all kinds of mechanical monsters that attacked the young archer. Smaller ones that looked like Slade himself, the kind of robots that were so easy to take on. But also larger ones, with giant bodies and limbs. These things didn't need any weapons. They were weapons.

XXX

There was no time to waste. Faster than one would've expected them to, possibly faster than they've ever been before did they reach the ruins of the most recent of Slade's attacks. The beginning of the only trace they had. At this moment, their only hope.

"This is the place, but I fear we won't find much. We didn't do so when we checked the place earlier." Bumblebee explained. Much of her usual attitude wasn't present at the moment. She was concerned and unlike so many other times, at this moment she showed it.

"But now it's ME who is taking a look." Cheshire explained and without even bothering to look at the leader of the Titans East she began to search for something. Anything.

XXX

There is a certain rhythm to fighting. While much more obvious in one on one fights, it is still present in what amounts to big brawls. Bodies moving, fast, fluid and seemingly coordinated. No accidents are accepted, every step is planned in advance. There are reasons why ever so often people compare fighting to dancing and at that moment, Slade became aware of more than just one of them.

Jumping, running and dodging, that was how Speedy avoided the attacks of the larger machines while attacking smaller ones in between. Always just one or two at a time. Shoot, Punch, Dodge, Jump, Run, Repeat. But the archer shouldn't follow a pattern. Patterns make a person predictable, especially against machines like these. So he changed things. The next time he was attacked by one of the larger robots he did not just dodge, but jumped. Jumped and landed on its arm, following it to the shoulder and on from there until he stood atop of its head. From here he continued to shoot the Slade-like drones. Until he ran out of arrows, that is.

XXX

Convinced that she had discovered a trace, it was Cheshire that lead the way. Nobody dared to speak directly to her at that moment, she was too focused. She also had made sure to let them know not to distract her if they valued their tongues and the ability to speak.

"Do you think she'll really find him?" Aqualad whispered in Bumblebee's direction.

"I don't know." the girl replied, not whispering but still keeping her voice down. "But it's our best and only lead. Maybe even our best and only chance."

XXX

"Can I ask you a question?" Speedy shouted, loud enough so he could be heard despite the noises of the battle, while at the same time jumping down to the ground, sliding through the little room that existed between the two legs of one of those mechanical killers and picking up an arrow from the ground. Or what was left of an arrow, as this one was obviously one to feature explosives. At least it did feature explosives, that is until they did their thing. What was left was a short stick. Still good enough if you manage to hit a weak spot.

"Of course." Slade spoke, himself also making sure that he was heard. "I am not one to deny my victims anything in their last moments alive."

"Now isn't that nice?" As the robot he avoided mere seconds ago turned around, so did it the archer. Now lying on his back, facing the machine, he quickly jumped to his feet and forward at his enemy, grabbing it at the back of its head and pushing his broken arrow into the the creatures eye and the artificial brain behind it. "So tell me, why go to such lengths just to get rid of me? I mean, I am flattered, but I don't understand." As the robot fell he pulled the arrow out. Now back to using his bow he aimed at the head of another one of its kind, shot and saw the target going down. Even a broken arrow was a more than deadly weapon in the hands of someone knowing how to use it.  
That was two more robots down. A hell of a lot more to go.

XXX

"This is not helping us at all." Aqualad complained. "We keep going, but I don't get the feeling that we're getting any closer."

"Shut up." Cheshire couldn't be bothered to deal with this. Not now.

"I'm just saying that" he began talking and that was all he said, for he fell silent the moment something just barely missed his head. It was too fast for him to be able to tell what it was Cheshire threw in his direction, but it it was close.

"Shut! Up!"

XXX

He was still standing. Slade sent everything he had. Dozens of them moved in to kill him, all at once. And he was still standing. Still fighting. Slade, by now, was more than just surprised – the boy was doing remarkably well.

"I do it for reasons of efficiency." he answered the young archer's question. "How is this efficient? It is the best way of ensuring victory. In the past my dear machines were little more than an annoyance for you and a waste of money for me. Now they finally do what they're built to do. And if an entire army of them is what it takes, so be it."

XXX

For a moment Cheshire stopped. It was only for a short moment, but since it was the first time she did so, the others couldn't help but notice it as something unusual.

"What is it?" Robin asked.

"It's that building." she explained, pointing at a giant warehouse. "That's were the tracks are leading us."  
Without having to utter another word all of them hurried to the building. Without hesitation Cheshire just kicked open the door and jumped in – and felt the need to scream in horror at what she was seeing.

XXX

It is almost ironic. It was only after a long and hard battle that a thought crossed Speedy's mind. He might actually get out of this unharmed. At first he didn't believe it. There were too many of them. He was not strong enough. But now, with one robot after another falling at his hand, it seemed that it was possible after all. That nothing would happen to him, a few scratches aside. He actually began to believe it. He began to hope.

That's when he felt the pain. It came sudden and it was severe. It was the feeling of cold metal piercing warm flesh.

He hadn't seen it coming. He couldn't have. He only stood still for a short moment, blocking an attack. It was only a short moment that he hadn't paid attention to his back. Looking back at it, it was eternity. That damn machine had all the time in the world to thrust his metal fingers into the boys back, pushing aside all the flesh, the muscles and the bones in its way.

It hurt. God did it hurt. And it only got worse as the robot raised his arm and the boy with it. Now it was his own weight that allowed the claws to pierce deeper into his body. Not to mention the humiliation. Not to mention what would follow next. There was little he could do as the machines gathered around their helpless victim, preparing to put an end to his life.

XXX

This was not happening. That's what Cheshire kept telling herself as she moved forward. The building was empty. Empty except for the tracesof the battle that took place here. Empty except for that and the body of a young archer, lying on the ground, not moving.

Once she reached him Cheshire took off her mask and fell to her knees right next to him. She looked at him. For a moment she remained silent, fighting back the tears. She tried. But she failed. Crying, she whispered his name and grabbed his hand. "Roy."

There was no reaction. How could there have been any? "Roy!" she now shouted. "Wake up!" She was hoping for a sign of life, although she knew better. Just from looking at him, from feeling him, it became painfully obvious that the boy she loved had already been dead for a while. But that knowledge didn't make it any easier to accept. Nothing ever could.

She bowed down, her head above his, her face in front of his, her tears falling off her eyes and mixing with the blood from the wounds on his cheeks.

There were no last words. There was no chance for a goodbye. But there were still things left to be said. Left to be done. "I love you." she told him, quietly, and gently pushed her lips onto his. It was an unrequited kiss.

She remained silent. She just had to be near him. Remaining close to him. Holding onto him.

As the Titans stood and watched, for the first time in the criminals life did everyone share her pain.

But that didn't make it any easier.

Nothing ever could.


	11. a hesitant kiss

**Chapter 11 – a hesitant kiss**

Days had passed. Days during which the Titans – along with Cheshire who wished to help them – were chasing after Slade in a way not seen before. Never before did they have such determination to destroy everything that was his and bring him to justice. They found hideouts, both secret and not so secret, they discovered connections to influential people, they came to know various identities he had used over time. Then they found the factories. The places where all his mechanical minions were build. They also found out about the fate of Slade's other victims, the other Titans, the other friends they lost to him.

But the worst of it all was still to come. It had yet to hit them, most of them. Despite achieving so much, despite doing everything they could, Slade still remained free and had seemingly vanished from the face of the earth. The Teen Titans could not capture him, the man who had killed their friends. They had failed their fallen comrades.

Days had passed. Days during which their anger – which was so overwhelming at first – was replaced by sadness. Slade was gone, whether they would hurry or not would not make a big difference. So it was a time for mourning and for remembering all the moments they shared with the deceased. It was also time to, slowly, but still, move on with their own lives.  
For some this was easier than it was for others. It seemed to hurt the Titans East noticeably more than the other five, with Bumblebee standing out even among that team. After all, she was the leader. She should've known what he was up to to begin with. It was her fault. No. Yes, it was her fault, but not like that. It was her fault that he left the team. She wanted Raven to enter his mind, he reacted the same way most of them would and she should have expected that. The blame rests solely on her shoulders. If he wouldn't have left the team, he still would have had his communicator. If he still would have had his communicator, he would have been able to call for support. Instead he had to fight on his own, without any help. He lost. He died. It was her fault.

And she knew it.

It was dark and Bumblebee was sitting all alone outside the tower of the Titans East. All alone, that is, until another girl approached her. Cheshire.

"What do you want?" Bumblebee asked, turning her head in Cheshire's direction, looking at her both serious and seemingly annoyed or at least not all that pleased. She needed some time for herself, needed to be on her own, like she was so often in these past days.  
"Talk." was Cheshire's very short answer to that question. "Before I leave. I've stayed here too long already." she added after a brief pause.

Bumblebee hesitated. Out of all the people at the Tower, right now, Cheshire was the only one she actually wished to talk to. As much as she wanted to be alone, she could not leave her without speaking to her. "About what?" Stupid question. "Speedy?"

"Roy."

"What?"

"His name was Roy." the young villainess explained.

For a moment Bumblebee just stared at the other girl. "He told you his real name?"Of course he did. Cheshire had yelled it when they had found the body. Back then she wasn't really paying attention to that though. Not that anyone else did.

Cheshire nodded. The hero sighed in response. "I guess you really were close..."  
Once more Cheshire made a gesture of agreement. "I loved him."

Love. This was serious. It almost amused Bumblebee, as she never even thought that something like this could be the problem. In hindsight it made a whole lot of sense. Him being in love with a villain? Talk about a conflict in the making. The Titan could almost picture just how she would react, how much she would overreact. She could not fault Speedy...Roy for this. He did what he considered the smartest thing to do. Chances are he was right about that. Despite the fact that she could understand him and many of his choices, one thing definitely remained that she had to ask about. "How long had this been going on?"

"For quite a while." Cheshire did not remember exactly how long. It also depended on what Bumblebee meant. How long since their relationship started? How long did they see each other? How long since both of them stopped being serious about their fights? How long have they been flirting? There has been a certain chemistry almost since the beginning, but given that she was a villain and he was a hero they did not exactly see each other on a regular basis. It took some time and several confrontations to reach that point. At first they truly were enemies, flirting perhaps, but enemies. That changed over time. Their fights became a game for both, a game they quite enjoyed. Cheshire remained within Steel City, hoping to run into him. At first this was rare, but not for long. At some point it was almost every night and the two teens who should be enemies became lovers. She did not know how long it had been, even less so since she didn't know what Bumblebee was talking about and she told the other girl as much. "I can not say how long. It was not recent though. We've seen each other a lot. More often lately, but even before that."

"It's okay. I think I get it." That was enough of an answer. All she needed at least. "So, you wanted to talk. I'm listening."

"Very well." Cheshire nodded. "We are technically enemies. As you may expect, I don't care much about you and the others. At all. But you were his friends, so there are things you need to know. Most of all it's the fact that he didn't mean to betray you. Obviously, things were difficult, for him more so than for me. He couldn't just tell you about us, especially not with the intent of still seeing me. We loved each other, but we respected what we did. He was a good guy, I was and am not and neither of us tried to change the other. We had to live with this and we could. But you wouldn't have been able to. It would've been unacceptable for you and you would have forced him to choose. In fact, you did and he chose me. He didn't betray your friendship, but simply saw our love as something more important. Which leads me to another thing that should be pointed out. It's not your fault. You didn't drive him away, he left on his own because he picked me, the only thing you did was make him decide sooner than he otherwise would have. But either way it would've been inevitable. At least I think so." Jade waited for a moment, waiting for her reaction.

The Titans seemed relieved. "Thanks. It may not mean much to you, but you're right. I really needed to hear that."

"There is one more thing."

"There is?"

"Yes. And this too, I think, you have to hear. I am a villain. Still it seems you'll let me go, this once, thanks for that by the way. But you know what I will do. You know who I will be after."

"Slade." Of course Bumblebee knew.

"Exactly. And I will find him. It may take some time, but I will. He may be good at what he does, but so am I. I will find him and once I do, I will make him pay." The Teen Titan continued listening to each and every of Cheshire's words. By now it had become pretty obvious where she was going with all of this. "I will do terrible things to him. I will make him suffer and I will make him regret the things he has done. And once I have reduced him to the weak, fearful soul he actually is, once all he does is beg for mercy..I may just provide him with that."

And although she did not ask the question, it was there, hanging in the air, waiting to be answered. The question Bumblebee had expected but still was not sure how to deal with.

'What will you do now?'

Just now, Jade had made a confession, had told her about the crimes she intends to commit. And although Bumblebee was disgusted by the thought, she already knew the answer. The only answer worth mentioning. She stood up and walked away. And only as she passed Cheshire, did she utter two words and nothing more.

"Have fun."

XXX

It was dark and Raven was sitting all alone inside her room in the tower of the Titans East. All alone, that is, until another someone knocked on her door. She started at it for a moment. She would expect most of the others to be asleep at this point. Or at least trying to sleep. So who could it be? Possibly Starfire, still having trouble to handle the circumstances It wouldn't have surprised Raven, given just how emotional the alien girl was. But her guess was wrong. "Yes?"

"It's me." the voice of Beast Boy said. HE was at her door. Why him, why now? Raven asked herself these questions, while saying what might have caught the changeling by surprise. "Come in."

Beast Boy slowly opened the door and closed it again once he was inside the room. "Raven, there's something I kinda wanted to say to you, about something you said, but I'm not really sure you said what I think you said, so I think that if I'm wrong I'll end up making myself look a bit like an idiot, so...let's just assume for a moment that you said what I think y-"

"Beast Boy." Raven interrupted him. "Just say what you have to say."

The boy nodded. "Okay...and I know this isn't the best of times, with all that's happened, and I wanted to ask you earlier, but then, well, things happened." He avoided even mentioning Speedy's name. "Anyway, just wanted to say – you don't have to be sorry."

"What?" Raven starred at him.

He walked over to her and actually sat down next to her. "Well, you apologized the other day, didn't you?" The girl was obviously surprised by that he had in fact heard her. "At first I wasn't even sure if it really happened, but I thought to myself, hey, just in case I better tell her it's okay. And it is. I mean, you insult me, I annoy you, isn't that our thing?"

"You haven't annoyed me in a long time." the girl explained while looking down at feet.

He raised an eyebrow at that. "You sound disappointed." His surprised look quickly vanished and was replaced by an wide grin. "AHA! You like me and you want to spend more time with, right? RIGHT?" The girl nodded. Not the expected reaction, but still a welcome one. "Wow. I mean...nice. Now admit I'm funny."

Raven quickly shook her head. "Not even close." she said while turning towards him, now looking him in the eyes. "Though I...actually missed your bad jokes."

The green boy smiled at that. No grin, no smirk, it was a much more gentle smile now. He just held the eye contact for a moment, before replying,almost hesitantly now, gone was his usual overzealous behavior and tone. "I missed telling them to you."

Now it was Raven's face that showed a smile, one of those rare smiles she shared with with only a small number of people, only a small number of times. And in what followed, they both did their parts. Beast Boy leaned forward, slowly, unsure, maybe even afraid of her reaction, of what his actions would cause. But there was nothing to fear, for she didn't avoid him, didn't move back. Neither did she approach him, but that wasn't necessary. She stayed still and accepted it as his lips, for as short a moment as it could have been, touched hers.

There was a certain attraction between the two of them. It wasn't love, but it was obviously there and it was, more than anything else, a beginning. It was barely even a real kiss what they shared, barely more so than their accident not too long ago and certainly nothing more than you might expect from the closest of friends, but nonetheless, it was a hesitant kiss, that within the blink of an eye had changed their world forever.

And as Beast Boy smiled at her, Raven knew...it was for the better.


End file.
